There's a quote somewhere along the lines of "Before you can love another, first you must love yourself." I firmly believe in this mindset. Much of theological belief is rooted in the love of ones self, which then expands outward to the love of others.
We need to be honest with ourselves first - accept ourselves for who we are. Without inner peace, there cannot be "outer peace" :)
Yes, you cannot give what you do not have. You cannot give love if you do not have it and you cannot have it if you don't first include all of yourself within your own love.
Despite this, the majority of the messaging I received from all directions - including 'church' was that self love was wrong!