Hello HIVE community!
I have a taboo subject on which I would like to hear your views.
You've probably heard of the all-too-familiar "abuser-victim-savior" triangle.
But does he really exist?
How deeply did you penetrate this theory and, last but not least, his experience? I dare to contradict it and I will give you a plausible explanation. If you look closely, you will find these manifestations of the triangle all around you. But the theory says that it exists and becomes valid only by exceeding certain limits. I disagree. We all act both as victims, abusers, but also rescuers, day after day, in relation to those around us and to ourselves.
Look much deeper. Let's take as an example the relationship between parents and child. An example of a good relationship and far from a disastrous one.
As long as the child is small, the parents like, on a very subtle and unconscious level, the fact that they can have control over someone. They are the ones who can approve and forbid certain actions of the child, under the well-founded pretext that they want everything that is best for him. But do they really want that good? Can they know what is good for the child? Or do what they really want for themselves, using the child's helplessness? Here comes the role of the SAVIOR.
If the child revolts, he considers himself entitled to punish him, under the well-known pretext of "education". This is where the role of the ABUSE intervenes.
And the most amazing part is when the child grows up and separates from his parents to create his own life. Then the parents begin to suffer in the most common cases. They begin to feel abandoned. This is where the role of VICTIM comes into play.
Personally, I think that mental illness is something relative, which you can say at the same time that it exists, but also that it does not. We all work on the same patterns and, as I said before, if the patterns of the mind exceed a limit, we are classified as sick.
The examples could continue in the case of couples. The partners consider that they hold each other as a personal good, and the triangle rotates in the same way as in the case of the parents and the child.
But isn't this triangle part of our nature, isn't it natural? In my opinion, it is; and to fight against it means to fight against nature.
Thank you so much for reading this!