Most of the time people think they need to give lots of praise to themselves when they accomplish something. They think it shows that they are a good person, and also that they should be praised for their past actions. I think this is a big problem.
I know that we are taught from an early age what things get rewarded. We are told that if we do our homework, if we do our work, if we are on time, etc. That things that happen when we do these things are rewards. That means people think they need to be praised for the little things. And they are not pleased when given rewards.
Praise only for what is good. What would be a good reward? For doing the right thing ?give them a kudos for a job well done. When people really understand and take responsibility for their actions, then they can give praise without being criticized. I have worked with people who have done great things, but they still did not want to be praised because they felt as if every time they did something good or even slightly good it was criticized by others.
We have to think differently. We have to think of praise as a signal of success. It is a symbol of success. It means your doing something very well. People who think this way are going to be much more successful. They will feel a sense of pride each time they do a good action.
The second thing you should think is praise is not always immediate. Sometimes we have to wait for many actions before we get a real reward. It may really take several days, several weeks, several months, or years. And we may not see continued results at first. The fact is, if we keep doing the same action, day in and day out, our bodies will eventually tell us that is what we are doing and give us a little disappointment.
In fact, your body will tell you right from the beginning if you are doing something right or not. People dont like change. So, they will stop you right away. Praise does not mean instant gratification. It means your doing something right.
When people dont praise themselves, they feel bad about themselves. The problem is, if they dont do anything right, then they dont feel good about themselves and so they dont do anything. You have to understand that when you are doing something, even if you think you are doing it really well, if you are not getting praise for it, you are probably not going to feel like it was worth it.
People always tell you that you need to do something good in order for you to feel happy. Well, the truth is, if you dont do something good, then you might as well not even bother. And if you do something good, then you will feel good about yourself, and you will be more willing to continue with your action.
Think of praise as a carrot on a stick. If you dont get the praise, you will start to think that if you dont do something good, then you dont deserve to be rewarded. And this will effect your actions. You will be thinking one minute and then the next, you will be angry. And your actions will be worse than before.
So, you see, people do actually need to be praised. They dont want to be scolded. They want to feel special. They want to feel that they are the greatest. They want to know that if they do their job right, then they will feel better about them.
People dont always realize that they dont always do their best, but they should. Everyone should. If they dont, then they should feel bad. If they do, then they can go and fix their mistakes. Then they can move forward with their action.
So, do you ever give praise to yourself? Why not? Every of the week, or daily, or all the time? If you dont, than you should start now. Do something nice for yourself and you will feel better about yourself and your action.
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