The last edition of my Funny African Customs Series had me talking about the funny custom of making a request without making it direct and included the crazy replies I usually give to those requests. After making that post I realized I'm incorrigible, I'm actually a monster and that was the not full extent of my atrocities because I have been giving crazy replies to people who ask me for shit all my life.
And you would be impressed by who my usual victims are: kids. My god, have I tortured these kids and screwed with their thinking faculties!
When you're leaving the house, kids are fond of telling you to buy things for them when you return, this is how it is all over the world, right? So, I receive requests like these from kids all the time and when I get these requests the mischief monster in me gets giddy all over and can't wait to pounce on these kids.
This is how it usually goes:
I'M LEAVING THE HOUSE
KID: Bye bye, buy some pop corn when you're returning.
ME: Okay!
WHEN I RETURN
KID: Welcome! Where is the pop corn you said you would buy?
ME: Oh, I bought it alright, but you didn't say I should buy it for you, you just said I should buy it, that was why when I bought it I ate it there before I got home.
KID: Ah!😭😭
THE NEXT DAY. I'M LEAVING THE HOUSE AGAIN
THE SAME KID: Bye bye! Buy popcorn for me when you're returning, this time I said it was for me, so don't think I just wanted you to buy it for no reason. Will you?
ME: Bye, yea, I've heard you. Yes I will.
WHEN I RETURN
KID: Welcome! Where is the popcorn you said you would buy for me?
ME: Oh, you mean you want it now? I said I would buy it for you but I didn't say when. You didn't say when either.
KID: 😭😭 But I said 'When you're returning!'
ME: I would return a lot of times in my life, kind of hard to know which of the returns you're talking about, don't you think?
KID:
THE NEXT TIME I'M LEAVING
KID: Good bye! Buy popcorn for me when you're returning, and I mean today, when you return from where you're going to right now, buy popcorn for me, okay? Will you?
ME: Bye, yes I will, I've heard you.
NOW THAT'S A KID WHO THINKS HE HAS LEARNT HIS LESSON AND HAS MADE A FOOLPROOF REQUEST. BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW ME, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST FRACTION OF A MUSTARD SEED IDEA WHO THE HELL I AM. MUAHAHA, MUAHAHA.
WHEN I RETURN
KID: Welcome! Where is the popcorn you promised to buy for me?
ME: I bought it for you, alright, but do you really understand the meaning of doing something for somebody? When I bought it, I did it with you in mind, I told myself I was doing it on your behalf, that I was doing it for you. I kept telling myself the same thing and totally had you in mind throughout the time I was eating it, so it was you I did it for.
KID:
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DISCLAIMER: Many kids were hurt in the actual making of the true events in this story. Yes, I left their hearts pretty shattered, you can bet.
Slightest fraction of a mustard seed⁉️ That's not that much.
I don't have kids so I've never been in the fortunate position to deceive and disappoint and break their little hearts like that.
How long have you been starving them?
I don't have kids either, but I never let something as small as that hinder me from my mission.
I've been starving them since I stopped being a kid myself.
Hahahaha.. man! You are wicked 🤣 I was a victim of this shit back then, it's so annoying 😭 It breaks their hearts
Lol. I was quite a victim too. I do this, but not as wickedly as described 😂
I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣 man! You are wicked 🤣 I was once a victim of this shit, it's so annoying 😭
@dandays, I didn't even tell you I did it. This is my second entry 😀