Lol. Some of these recommendations are horrible. I did a thought experiment where I would try each of these with my wife. NONE OF THEM WORKED! I call scam, except for number...7: Exotic dancing. I have two children with her because of ma skillz.
It was only a thought experiment though. I'd probably break my back trying one of those Olympic-level maneuvers.
I couldn't help but laugh at your post. I couldn't help but become frustrated because my laughter woke up my son. Now I've got to hear it from the Mrs. Equanimity indeed.
Try exotic dancing your way out of it
Ok. I will update you on the the result after I recover in a month. Lol
Any one would do - your wife is a tough critic, it seems, so had to go through all the steps