So this is not what I intended to write about this evening, but I want to know your thoughts on something that happened today.
Actually, strike that, it's not that something 'happened' exactly, it's more about a conversation that transpired after I did/said something I do every time I call my partner.
So today I went back to work after a brief spell of sickness, I knew m'lady would be worrying about me, she's that sort, and to be completely honest, I love that about her. Of-course I tell her to stop fussing, protest that I'm absolutely fine (and at the time, I absolutely mean it), but deep down it's nice and maybe even a little reassuring that someone cares about me and what is going on in my life at any given time. You get what I mean, right?
I should point out that I don't actually like her 'worrying', I'm sure you realised that already though, my narcisism hasn't quite gotten that far out of control yet.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you she is my best friend in the whole world, I say it often enough in my posts, whenever I mention her in fact.
Anyway, enough of this episode of the Stevenwood digression hour, back to the point at hand. When it came to my break-time, I thought I would give her a quick call and say hi and reassure her that I was absolutely fine, before she sent me a message asking... Too late, she had beat me to it and sent a text message saying she hoped that I was managing with my job ok.
Rather than just texting her back, I decided to stick to my original plan and give her a quick call, so that's exactly what I did. At the end of the call I signed off the way I always do, when I'm at work;
"See you in a few hours, love you, bye."
Obviously she says bye, love you too blah blah blah... The most mundane thing in the world, or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me (dontcha just bloody love the word unbeknownst? Ah! Just me then?) a guy saying 'love you' on the phone is a cause of much hilarity to some people.
How have I managed to live so many years oblivious to the comedic response provoked by those three little words?
Obviously I am being a little flippant here, of course I have known males and the odd female, who find someone saying I love you at the end of a phone call a reason to snigger and mock, but I thought I left those reactions behind 30+ years ago when I left school.
I work in a place that has always been kind of 'alpha', if you know what I mean. The place is full of temper, tantrums and testosterone (although strangely not over the last week or so when I was away sick...Curious, right?) I know some of the guys never fully matured and they know 100% that I don't 'play'.
What I mean by that is that when some dumbass makes some sexist, lewd, rude or inappropriate comment, I don't laugh along in order to be part of the clique, I comment that their wives, mothers, sisters and daughters may be listening to some moron making the same sort of comment, elsewhere at that exact same time. Then my 'pièce de résistance', is to look around disappointedly at the weaker, hangers on who seconds earlier were laughing along. Oh man, their expressions are priceless.
When some ill informed bigot makes a comment about some culture, religion or section of society that he has zero knowledge of, I toss in a truth bomb, ask a question about what he just said or offer up any response to make them feel uncomfortable. Finally, as I have repeated a million times, I never ever nod along and agree with any statement that is designed to suggest that if you do not agree, you are an idiot...
Well I'm not a bloody idiot and I am completely comfortable being in a minority of one.
Now that's freedom!
Anyway, back to my question. Do you openly say I love you when speaking to your partner, kids, parents or anybody else for that matter
OR, and this is what I am really interested in.
Do you turn away from the group and mumble it in the hope they won't pick up on it?
I'm sure this is probably what I did when I was a teen, it's a funny time of life, you don't want to give any reason for others to find you weird, awkward or make your supposed transgression the butt of everyone's jokes.
But right now, I wouldn't dream of regulating my speech lest it be heard by those around me (unless I was planning a diamond heist or something like that). I say what I want, oblivious to who may or may not be listening in.
The day an aquaintance, colleague or stranger gets in the way of me telling my partner or my daughters I love them at the end of a call is the day I know I have 'lost it!'
Perhaps you pre-empted what I was gonna say next, and it's a serious point. There is a time when we won't have one more chance to call those who are most important to us. There is a time when that one more "I love you" cannot be said. Imagine living with the regret that you didn't speak your mind/heart because Davie from the warehousing department might overhear, and the chance was never available to you ever again.
I am a great proponent of telling those you love that you love them and letting them know just how important they are to you. Although I gotta tell you, I didn't start out that way. When I met my lady Terry some 30ish years ago, whenever she would finish a call to her mum, dad, sister or brother she would say I love you about 56 times, this was so alien to me at the time as I was brought up a little repressed I guess, I had never heard those words before.
But I loved hearing her saying it to others and decided I would like to become more open just like her, and slowly but surely I did. I always said I never ever let my kids go a day without telling them I loved them as they were growing up. It was something that felt very important to me.
Do you struggle to tell those close to you that you love them? I swear that it feels odd the first time, slightly out of the norm the next few times and then it becomes the most normal, loving thing in the world. I highly recomend it. Something else I highly recomend is saying "I love you", in your normal voice at the end of a call, not mumbling it, whispering it or choosing to avoid saying it because too many people are around.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
Keep taking the time to connect with each-other both here and in the 'so-called' real world and try and look after each-other, because as you already know...
I don't say 'I love you' to anyone or anything. But that's just cause I'm not really capable of love as far as I can tell. autistic people have a hard time understanding emotion and I'm no different. :D
Still at least I can still demonstrate I 'care' about someone even if I never say 'I love you'
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Anyone who thinks it mockworthy to publicly tell a loved one that you love them is an immature ass and can bloody well fuck off.
Sounds like you got it down to a science!
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Hmm... I would rather say that I'm more of the physical expression of love. Playing with hair, touching a foot, hugging (at which I'm extremely good), and such things. I don't have trouble saying that, but I don't come from the kind of background where saying such things was encouraged. Though I must say, grandpa use to call each grandchild mi amor (my love). Last thing I did when I saw him alive for the last time was giving him a hug. It's a good thing that I did that because he died two days afterwards.
I think it's a important thing to show it. Saying it is also good. And I don't think you're off the idea with all this speech you gave. I like the idea of losing it. It might happen if I ever get something like that thrown at me because I'm pretty much the same kind of guy that despises that kind of immature behavior.
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If someone were to laugh at the words "I love you" at the end of a phone call, you could always get snarky with the laughing idiot and say "At least I don't say 'I'll be home when I'm home don't wait up, I'll be out with the boys"
Laughter in some situations is okay, but inappropriate laughter may call for an inappropriate comment in some situations.
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