How to Feel at Home
At different points in time, I have had to be accommodated in someone's house for many reasons. When I worked in Lagos, my friend sheltered me for six months. I didn't pay rent. I have also stayed with some families for days and weeks maybe due to work or just visit.
One key thing I always have in mind is that I am outside my house and someone has offered me shelter and sometimes food. I am eager to contribute. If I sleep till 10am in my house on Saturdays, I can't try it in an uncle's family house. If I wake up in the morning and just bath and leave in my house, I can't try it in another person's house. If I eat and keep the plate in the sink in my house, I rarely try it in another's house.
Many times, I will be offered a VIP treatment: "No, don't worry, the kids will clean it", "oh, don't worry I will wash it". I definitely refuse such offer.
When I am welcomed to a place, the only way I show I am welcomed is to be a part of the work being done in the place.
In the morning I look for what to do. I carry water and wash the cars. I ask of what could be cooked and cook. I take the kids uniform and iron. I find something and do. That's how I feel at home.
Greater percent of everyone I visit keep asking when I am coming again.
The truth is, whether you just visited, or being accommodated till you get your accommodation, you must be sensible enough to be participatory in the work in the house.
The truth is, when you stay with someone, you definitely increase the work in that house. You increase the rate the toilet gets dirty. Your bathing increase the rate the wall of the bathroom gets dirty. You increase the amount of sand that can be found in the floor of the room. You increase the amount of dirty plates. You increase the cups of rice to be cooked. You increase the NEPA bill. You increase many things. You become a yeast, you make the work to rise.
People shouldn't get more stressed just to keep you comfortable. It's now worse when you are being sheltered because you can't afford an apartment of your own. You can't afford to be indifferent about contributing to the house that shelter you.
You must care to know how the electricity bill is paid, don't just plug your phone and enjoy light. You must care about how the water tank gets filled all the time; you must not just enter shower and turn it on.
Some people get concerned about saving money to get their own place that they forget that it costs money to keep them In that house. They can't buy tooth paste, soap or tissue when they get exhausted, and the person giving you shelter is a young person as you are.
Sometimes due to the relationship we have with such persons, and because they are more financially stable than us, we may not be required to assist in anything financial in the family, but know you have to do something. Reduce the amount of work in the house. Play an active role. Don't increase the drama there.
Many times some persons can't confront persons staying with them but they are boiling inside. They are complaining to Neighbors and friends.
Stop saying that someone accommodating you is giving you attitude... Use your brain my friend.
Some persons are just users. Eat free food, use toiletries, open freezer and drink anything, turn on generator when they are alone... And wear their clothes early and zoom out. Their presence in the house is only felt in the increased debit alerts.
Before you say... "I don't stress myself in my uncle's house" and "their house is my second home" make sure you are not referring to your irresponsibility.
Your active participation is required everywhere, and it starts from the first day. Don't wait to be told. Don't be glued to the TV... Once you are outside your house, the rule changes.
It is called SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE.
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