In one way or another I have learned that we can avoid misunderstandings, falling badly and being perceived as unpleasant and hateful people, if we say things in a correct, polite, pleasant, prudent or tactful way, in fact in my country there is a phrase that is used a lot and it is "it is not what you say, it is how you say it" and it is something totally true.
Many times I have been called hateful and it is true, first because I have been mentioned how hateful or unpleasant I am when I respond in some ways and others because I have received that treatment from some people and I have seen myself reflected in them and this has motivated me to change that in me.
Now, supposing that some friends, in some attempt to introduce me to someone with whom they consider I could get along well and have a relationship and they organize a date and this person manifests in the middle of the conversations that usually occur on a date that he does not like coffee, it would be something respectable, because for many years of my life I do not drink coffee.
from PxHere
But, if at the beginning of this topic, my date becomes, let's say, unfriendly, to the extreme of saying that he does not like coffee and that its smell for him is the worst thing in the world, two things could happen, one that I will laugh and let the date end and not come back to see him, this above all because he has not been tactful, one with tact can politely, with respect and even in a very intelligent way, send a person to hell and obtain as a result that he gets excited and enjoys the trip.
Now the second thing that could happen would be that if he would tell me or manifest his point of view in a gentle way and with delicacy, I would tell him the story of how I am now a coffee lover, I defend it to the hilt, besides always looking for the best brands of coffee to have at home, it is more than being someone nice and who knows how to raise the situation with tact and respect, I would even encourage him to have a challenge in which he would drink coffee with me, if we had a date again to make him fall in love with coffee.
In the same way, I am convinced that all human beings have the right to think differently, it is part of the richness of this planet, but also must prevail respect, tolerance and even empathy for those who think differently, of course all this with its limits, there are issues with which I still do not agree, or rather I do not agree with the way they want to say that impose, because with the theme of political correctness, I think that many issues that were good before are now seen as bad and vice versa, but it is a topic for community.
from PxHere
Even though I was not a coffee lover, I had pleasant dates with people who love coffee and it was never a problem, because I respected their love and they respected the fact that I did not like it and on the occasions that I drank it in their company it was because I was cold and they suggested me to drink it to warm up or because they asked me in a very good way and thinking about it I could do the same with someone who does not like coffee.
Finally, although when I did not drink coffee, I always appreciated its aroma as something very pleasant. If someone told me such nonsense as that the smell of coffee is terrible, I could give them two kinds of treatment, as I mentioned, depending on how they put it. Thus I bid farewell to my participation in STB #62.
#posh
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I very much agree with you, It's not what they say, it's how they say it, it's true if we say things contemptuously, without having the slightest delicacy, it falls badly. But if we do it subtly, This will open many doors for you. Just because you don't like coffee right now doesn't mean you should speak badly about it, it comes to the point that you say you learned to love it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
Knowing how to say things can open many doors, humility and gentleness open many doors.
Well said friend, it opens all the paths for us, that is the attitude. Greetings
After I read the first part of your post my min immediately recalled this bit of comedy gold from the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S hahaha! And recalling FRIENDS in a coffee post is perfect because so much of the show happens in a coffee shop too!
I agree with your point in the post. Not everyone has to be a coffee lover. But that doesn't mean they have to hate it. Similarly I am not a tea person, but I don't hate it either. In fact I do really enjoy having tea with my wife who is a tea person.
I'm glad to know that my publication made you remember a chapter of this famous series and that in your daily life you have been able to share something that is not your complete liking with your wife, that's what those of us who love or appreciate someone do, greetings.
Look, for me it all depends on how hot the guy is .. :P
I like the angles of your response here, and the expectation that a date would have more tact. I'd think for someone to make a bold assertion like that, they probably aren't much fun! Haha ☕️
Some people who are not tactful at all in stating their tastes or what they believe and tend to go down badly.
The message of what you mean is very clear to me, my colleague. We have the right to think freely, but we also have the right to empathy and tolerance. What is good for some or the vast majority does not have to be good for others, I think that's what humanity is all about. Greetings and nice reflection.
There is a fine line there that many do not know how to perceive and have no filter to say what they think.
If you don't like the smell of coffee, I think you have a bad sense of smell, hahahaha. It is a delicious smell and I agree with you that things should be said with love. Greetings
That is why I mentioned it, even though I did not drink coffee for many years and its smell always seemed to me one of the most pleasant things in the morning, you definitely have to learn how to say or state things.
The photo belongs to millycf1976 and was edited using Canva.
In my country we have a saying: Between tastes and colors, authors do not decide. I think it is a wise sentence. And, although I can, as you state in your post, respect everyone's tastes, coffee is so ingrained in my life that it is always a huge surprise to find someone who doesn't like it.
Excellent disquisition in your post, @actioncats.
Hello beautiful sorry for my delay to respond, the truth I thought I had answered you days ago, but well no matter I'm here, so there is a very similar phrase here in Venezuela "between tastes and colors have not written the authors, thank you for your visit and I send you from here a big hug.