Parenting times have changed my friend, I was also raised with the flip flop as an instrument of negative reinforcement, and it was not pretty because it made me gain respect for my parents and my elders through fear.
Today, I think and I am sure that we can be less severe parents, but we can still set limits to our children, we can not raise children who think that life is rosy and everything is nice, there must be a balance because we educate in a society that is not benevolent at all and then that will take its toll.
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Your analysis is perfect, it's exactly that. I've really changed the way I see the education we give our children, before I thought it was all about threatening or slapping, but now I'm talking a lot more, trying to be a friend, a father who cares, so I've been talking a lot with my children.
It doesn't always work haha, but I think it's better to do it this way, to talk and show them that they can trust me and that I'm there for them and for them.