You know… sometimes when you think about the things some people say about others who have things that they can’t get, it makes you cringe especially when you factor in the fact that these are things that they also want for themselves as well. It’s not like they’re outlandish ideas or things that regular people wouldn’t think of, they’re everyday things that everyday people think about. Yet, they have the power to command such hate and jealousy.
But then, what can we do? We are who we are. Many of these people don’t even realize that they have a problem, they think that everyone else is the problem which is kind of crazy when you think about it. Especially when the problem is kind of glaring for everyone to see.
In this journey of life, you’ve probably come about people who just talk down on others who they feel are better than they are. You’ll hear things like; “that rich man is surely a ritualist or a drug dealer. There’s no way his money is clean.” Or you’ll hear something like; “she wouldn’t have gotten that role if she wasn’t beautiful, or if she didn’t personally know Mr. A.”
These are familiar scenarios, right? Yeah, because it’s something we’ve heard multiple times, hell I’m sure we’ve said it ourselves a few times in the past as well. It’s just us trying to explain away the success of others simply because they have something that we want and don’t have access to. We’re jealous that they have it, and we’re also mad because we probably don’t have a good explanation as to why we can’t get it. So, we then try to explain away their success, and many times, we do it in a way that puts us in the better light and diminishes their own efforts.
When I think about it, everything about this behavior just screams toxicity. While I admit that there are a lot of people who have gotten to where they are through some clandestine means and on the back of some shady deals, it doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. There are people who have genuinely worked hard to get to where they are. There are people who have toiled day and night to make that money you’re so jealous of, there are people who had sleepless nights to get to that top position in the company.
So, just because they have it and you don’t doesn’t mean that they got their hands dirty. It could simply mean that they beat you. And funny enough, people who say things like these are not usually half as good as those they’re chastising. Some people will see a beautiful girl but refuse to accept it because she’s light-skinned, meanwhile they themselves are not that good-looking with their dark skin ooo. What about those who will call a guy prideful and arrogant simply because he has more money than they do, meanwhile they themselves can never stop talking about themselves and what they’ve managed to achieve.
This is just the reality. We have to learn to be gallant in defeat. We have to understand and accept the fact that we’re not the best in the world, we can never be the best in the world. Because just as you’re working hard for something, someone somewhere else is working harder than you in another corner of the world, gunning for the exact same thing. Different factors in life might determine who gets what, from opportunities to location and even something as basic as just having a good smile.
So, just because you don’t get something, doesn’t mean you were cheated. Maybe you just lost. And it would be up to you to fall back, recoup, find out your mistakes, and come back harder. It’s as simple as that. Now, I’m not saying that people are not getting cheated. I know very well that they are, I’ve even witnessed many such cases. I’m just saying that not every case is like that.
And everyone involved will also know if you’re cheated or not. Let’s be brave in defeat, it makes us stronger and can even turn those who would have been rivals into friends. Because the fact that someone beat you at something, could mean that they know something (or someone) that you don’t know. And that piece of information may be all you need to transform your life.
So, my dear friends, stop hating people for no reason at all. You have no idea which one of them might be your helper.
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People need to understand that it's not even as if the person that has it actually beat them when they have the ability to attain such heights and more but they're prevented from doing so by the self doubt and the unnecessary hatred directed at the person that is actually putting in the work.