The last topic that I wrote a piece on, surrogacy, got me thinking about something unique. Is blood really all that we’ve made it out to be? Is being related to someone all that it’s cooked up to be? Because many people talk about how all their kids have to be related to them by blood, and as long as it’s not so, then they can’t fully be seen as related.
Is this how things should be? Or is all this simply a social construct? There are those who would never consider adopting a child, because they can’t see themselves raising another man’s kids. In the same way, they can’t imagine getting into a relationship with a single mother, entirely for the same reason. Now, I say this again, is blood really all that it’s hyped up to be?
When you think about it, people who talk so much about all this, if you look into their family relationships, they’re most likely not close with their siblings. They’re the ones whose kids don’t visit their uncles and aunts simply because the parents don’t trust the extended family. If blood truly is all that important, why are some friendships more powerful than some sibling relationships?
For me, I love my family members and I would do anything for them. However, I don’t think the reason I love them is because we’re related by blood. Yeah, I am privileged to be a part of the family, but the reason we are all close and tight to date goes beyond blood. It has to do with our upbringing and the fact that we’ve been free with each other right from time. There has been no competition or unhealthy rivalry among us. We simply love each other and we genuinely want the best for each other.
The other day, I heard the story of a Nigerian man who returned from abroad, hoping to inspect the properties he had entrusted his family members to take care of. However, the family must have squandered his money, and to avoid having to confess to him and have their evil deed exposed, they tried to have him committed to an asylum. These were his blood relatives who did this to him.
We’ve heard of brothers who get jealous of each other’s success and harm them so they can take over their properties. A rich man would die, and his children would be fighting each other or fighting their uncles over the properties he left behind. What about the people who would never let the widows of their own brother rest? They would want to leave the widow destitute and take everything from her, including the clothes on the backs of their own nephews and nieces.
There is a level of pride and joy that comes with knowing that you brought life into this world and you watch it grow. But in the stark reality, it’s not all that it’s hyped up to be. Brothers will always turn against brothers, and fathers will turn against their sons. A sister will betray her sister and a mother will get jealous of her own daughter. These things happen in real life. That’s why today if you happen to have a good relationship with your siblings, you have no idea how blessed you are.
Because I’ve seen even the tiniest things drive huge wedges between families. Sisters have fought each other because of men, and brothers have been killed because of money and property. It’s because of envy, jealousy, and fear that some nephews and nieces would never have a close relationship with their uncles and aunts. Simply because of things they know nothing about.
It’s sad though, but it is what it is. I’m not saying that friends don’t betray each other. That also happens. Your friend can turn on you any day at all. However, I’m saying that blood is not all it is cooked up to be. If a brother can knowingly kill his brother, or knowingly render his brother-in-law’s widow homeless, then what does that say about the bond that comes with being blood-related?
Maybe we’re all just kidding ourselves. Well, it is what it is.
This life will be more easy and free to live if we do away with some traditional knowledges we've known.
Just like marriage, what makes the two individuals couples is not blood but by the love, bond, chemistry they have. Such should be taken into this consideration too when the blood thing comes into talk
As in ehn... so much goes into making bonds, and blood is only a tiny fraction.
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