Surrogacy is one of the modern upgrades that have come with civilization. I call it an upgrade because, with it, traditional methods of having babies will no longer be the only methods available. At first, people could only have children by actually giving birth to them. There was even a time when adoption was frowned upon and kids who got adopted would face bullying and all that.
However, with time, people learned to accept that. People started adopting kids from orphanages and Motherless Baby's Homes. However, for many people, this came with a ‘but’. You see, a lot of people want to have the whole experience of having an infant, a lot of women want to have the experience of being a ‘nursing mother’ even though they’re not the biological mother of the kid.
This is why (in my opinion) babies don’t last too long in orphanages. They’re always adopted almost immediately. Sadly, the older they get, the less likely their chances are of getting adopted. Many parents want to have the firsts with their babies. They want to be there when the child takes their first steps when the child says their first word… all these things are important to parents. And with infants, you can get all that.
With adoption though, you don’t get to pick and choose. And that’s where surrogacy comes in. There are many reasons why a couple would choose surrogacy. There are fertility issues, there can be health issues. I know of a lady who almost died when she was having her first child and she swore never to go through that again. Their second child was through a surrogate. Having another woman bear your child can be less tasking on the mother and maybe financially rewarding for the surrogate.
The only ethical issue I could think of with surrogacy is the fact that many times, the surrogates themselves may not be properly compensated. In these things, you don’t have a way of knowing if these ladies are doing this of their own free will, or if the rich couple is intimidating them, using money, power, and influence to get them to submit. What if out of desperation, you end up working with an illegal agency that only exploits desperate and broke young ladies who are simply looking for a paycheck?
These are the only issues I can think of that is wrong with this. However, from what I’ve read so far, the only bias people have about surrogacy is simply because it's not something many people are used to. In this big 2025, there are still some people who believe that giving birth through C-Section means you’re not a real woman. They believe that as a real woman, you must be able to push through labor, regardless of health implications that would make that a risky move for you.
In the same way, there are still people who think that knowing how to cook with firewood or charcoal, knowing how to use a mortar and pestle, and knowing how to grind pepper with stones, makes you a woman. It's as if some people simply only know suffering and they don’t see themselves advancing beyond the reality their small minds have set for them. Sadly, some women also feel this way, not just men.
So, what am I trying to say? There can be so many reasons a woman might choose surrogacy. She could choose it because of her health, she could choose it because of the kind of work she does, or because she doesn’t want to pass a certain defective gene to her child. In a bloodline that is prone to cancer, surrogacy can help protect the child. A couple that are both AS, can have as many kids as they want through surrogacy.
This method doesn’t make the mother any less of a woman, nor the father any less of a man. I know for certain that it’s not an easy decision to arrive at. Before getting there, the players involved would have thought long and hard about it. Coming to such a decision would never be easy. What matters in the long run is what is best for the child.
So personally, I don’t have any issue with surrogacy, people have to do what they have to do. As long as it’s done the right way, and everyone leaves happily when the deal is done, then there is no issue at all. One thing I know though is that the time is coming when things like this would no longer be a big deal. Like adoption, surrogacy would be a widely accepted way of raising a family.
But all in good time.
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