If there is one thing humans are fond of doing, it's believing people to be more like what we want them to be in our heads instead of seeing them for who they really are. This is a particularly disturbing trait but many people possess it. For some reason, we choose to ignore all the markers that show us who the person really is and focus instead on what we believe them to be. And many times, they're not correct.
This is why some people will open their eyes wide and still walk into an abusive relationship. Right from the get they'd know that the person is hot-tempered, even during dating the person has been beating them woto-woto. They know very well they're not into those kind of things, yet they won't end the relationship and would very well go into marriage with the person.
It's just sad, but some people have this messianic personality, feeling like they're the next thing after Jesus and they can change people. Instead, they end up getting changed. By the time their eyes clear and they realize the truth that they've been hiding from themselves, they'll be so far gone that coming out would require a lot of psychological rewiring.
When people tell you who they are, or when they show you their true colours, please don't ignore it. Don't put it down as just a phase. Just because someone did something to you once doesn't mean they're not capable of doing it a second time. If you allow people to have a free rein, they will do and undo without any thought to you in any way. So when you see red flags, don't use Photoshop to change the colour. Because in the end, you're the only one that'll suffer the consequences.
I know that as humans, we only see what we want to see just as we only hear what we want to hear. If someone's showing us something, as long as we don't like it, then we don't care about it. That's just the way many of us are wired. That's why when we're being warned about certain people in our lives, it'll only look like those giving us advices don't know what they're talking about. They've pointed out the flaws and shown them to us, but we choose not to see them.
It's just like being friends with an armed robber and everyone is warning you about the friendship, telling you that nothing good can ever come of it. However, you don't believe all that and see them as naysayers. You know he's an armed robber, he hurts people for a living, he probably lies as well. You know all this, but you simply don't care. Because you choose to ignore them. But in the end, your "friend" will come back to bite you.
Best case scenario, he robs you blind and runs off. Worse case scenario, he turns you into an armed robber as well. And so would begin your life on the run from the law and from everybody you've ever hurt. Once you get there, you suddenly realize that what everyone told you about the person was the truth and you messed up. But it'll be too late. Because by then, you're in too deep.
So, my dear friends, when you see red flags, run for your life ooo! Don't try to change them. Don't try to give them a chance. As long as it's something you know you're not comfortable with, something you can't boldly speak off to your friends and family, then just leave it and go. It may be hard, but go. Because in the end, you're the one who will suffer or enjoy it.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
We can only hope for the ability to be able to discern the red flags from the beginning instead of having to go through some traumatic experiences unknowingly.
As in ehn... hopefully we can see the red flags for what they are and treat them as such.
I think when people say something we need to keep it in mind and we need to consider their words from a neutral perspective. I think there is nothing wrong with considering facts because each time we can't see reality through our eyes and people are helpful to show us what's wrong.
Yesso! We must consider it all so we don't get ourselves hurt in the long run.