The term "don't dwell on the past" is definitely a cliche and yes i'm here to reiterate it because I could not agree more with that term, the past to me should be a place of learning not a place of dwelling, doing the later results in stagnation, you literally move nowhere and remain in that memory loop thinking about what had been and what could have been and how you could have handled the situation better, trying to make sense of whatever happened, Well, guess what? That would not change a thing.
There are numerous reasons why people may dwell on the past, for some it can be a way to avoid confronting difficult emotions or experiences in the present, while it can be a way to hold on to memories of happier times, or to try to make sense of traumatic or confusing events for others.
Additionally, dwelling on the past can be a way to avoid making difficult decisions or taking action now in the present. In some other cases, people may dwell on the past out of a sense of nostalgia or longing for what was. Bottom line is the reasons are subjective.
Personally, I feel people dwell on the past because it's easier to do so, it's easier to sulk and feel sorry for oneself, it's easier to play different scenarios about how the event could have unfolded for the better, doing anything contrary to that would mean serious work and would result in a different feeling and most people are not ready for that
Firstly, and for me personally the most important is realizing that the past is out of your control, that to me the first step towards moving on, I moved on from haunting memories when it finally dawned on me that no matter how hard I think about the past or reimagine how different the past could've been, it changed nothing, it filled me with regret instead, I realized there was nothing I could do at that moment that'll have any effect on the past.
Additionally, introspect and ask your self questions, why do you feel attached to this memory? What have I learned from this experience? How can I prevent something like this from happening again?, You gain clarity by asking yourself the right questions.
In conclusion, living in the present pretty much sets up how you live later in the future, think about it, if you are stuck on the past or worried about the future, when that future finally comes, you realize you haven't lived at all, instead you're full of regrets because now you're older, nothing has changed and you've given up the chance to create better memories for yourself.
Know that the present is what you can control, you might not be able to control some circumstances that befall you but you can control how you choose to react to those situations.
If you would look at the past, look back on the past with gratitude and learn from it, however make sure you're not living or dwelling in the past, but rather, learning from it and using that knowledge to create an even better future. Does that make sense?
I look forward to your comments, supportive or contrary views, let's converse and do give a follow if you've gained value from this post, Thank you for reading.
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Looking back now, there's no regret, just lesson learnt, thank you for this post
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