It takes a lot of conscious effort to assess your own self and even more to identify and admit that you’re the problem. This is because we’re generally used to assessing and judging other people ad having ourselves judged by those other people too. We all look from our own lenses at different things and not ourselves.
There are people who under normal circumstances are very good, but their depth of goodness has a certain limit to it
Isn’t this everyone though? Don’t we all have limits to how good we can be? I think everyone has that threshold beyond which “the kindness of their heart” ends. Beyond which you start to become a burden, a nuisance to them.
A lot of people fail to understand this and it’s caused a lot of friendships and relationships to end. Understanding that everyone has a limit to which they’ll accept your burdens, and that beyond those limits, they’re absolutely at liberty to refuse to be your donkey. We expect the people we love to give us unconditional love without limits, but this is absolutely wrong. We know we can’t do the same, so it baffles me how we still expect what we know we can’t and won’t give and tolerate.
I like your take on this matter. Not a lot of people understand limits when it comes to how much people can bear and tolerate in social transactions, but you seem to understand that fairly well.
Basically I believe that everyone at one point in time should be able to assess themselves without being bias in their assessments or judgement. Assessment as this helps us to improve the kind of people we are or eventually become. I know that it can be very difficult but this is one aspect of self-improvement that is also very important in our lives.
One thing I have learnt over the years is to study the mood and tone of people. Sometimes because we feel we are familiar or close to some people we expect them to accept every baggage that will bring to the table. This is somewhat resembling entitlement.
I know that some people feel that because they have been good to others they expect the same kind of energy being given to them. However we cannot force people to love us the way we love them. Inasmuch as love should be reciprocal, there is no way we can achieve it to some certain degree or level and have it to be simultaneously matched.
Everyone in life should understand the phenomenon of limits and how to achieve limits without becoming an infringement to others or breaching their space. I know that we often preach reciprocal loyalty. But sometimes in life if people do not get rewarded for being there for us it's automatically interprets to infringements whether we like it or not.
I knew I was missing an important word when I was writing this comment, but I forgot what the word was.
Your reply basically covers everything I'm thinking but couldn't add to my comment.
You know, I met a lecturer here, where I work for my NSS and he talks a lot like you. Lol. He understands a lot about human relations and life in general. But (here's the twist) he's a Biochemistry lecturer. I even casually told him one time he'd make a good philosopher because of how much conversations with him just flow. I'm trying to see whether in the next few weeks or months, I can onboard him on Hive. I think he'll be good value here.