I was thinking about the dynamics of family some time ago and find it quite impressive knowing that the majority of humans spend their lives being part of a family. Once, we were children being guided and taken care of by our parents, and we also grew into making our families at one point in time. It's an endless cycle for many because we see it as a responsibility or obligation, while there are those who don't see the need to keep the cycle going for reasons best known to them, which I respect.
From ancient times, family has been regarded as a fundamental component of human development, and that tells how important family is to the growth of every individual. We all were raised in a family, whether by both parents or a single parent, and their impact on our lives is immeasurable.
Additionally, I strongly believe that we are a product of our parents. Our experience with them shaped us into the adults we become, and sometimes, it's the other way around. While some people grew in love, care, and happiness radiating within the family, being part of a family was a challenge to some humans, and yet, the future turned out differently.
The nuclear family structure, consisting of a family, mother, and their child/children, has been marked as a standard for raising successful children into adulthood in the world today. Many of us believe that except when both parents are present to perform their duties, a child's upbringing is incomplete. To an extent, that can be true because there are so many benefits to parents working together to raise a child, but that doesn't completely determine a child's future.
Just yesterday, I read a Bimbo Ademoye interview where she mentioned her dad singlehandedly raising her. He supported her in the absence of her mother, and today, she's a great actress in the Nigerian movie industry. She didn't deny missing motherly love, but she became used to not having her around, and moreover, her father filled the space.
On the other hand, I believe a few of us are familiar with Mohbad's story. His mother left at a young age, and he has to struggle a lot under his father's watch. He went through a lot to be great but lost his life along the line.
A lot of people believe his mother's absence was one of the things that cut short his existence, and I want to believe the same thing because of the circumstances around his death. While Bimbo Ademoye's life seems beautiful without her mother, Mohbad expressed how much his mother's absence affected him in a track titled "Sorry," when things started going sour for him and all of these beats down to the unpredictable nature of life.
If we are being honest, nobody came to the world with a life manual, and we are just doing things as we think they should be. What I actually don't understand is if fate or destiny is responsible for what the future holds for every individual, but I am certain that the unpredictable nature of life plays a huge role in what kids grow to become regardless of who raised them.
Sometimes, having both parents matters, while in some situations, one of the parents is enough to get the job done. We must also understand that beyond the love and care at home, there are so many factors beyond parenting that influence a child's future, and a parent can only hope for the best while playing their role diligently.
Using myself as a case study, I was raised by my mother, and during my teenage years, people said it to my face that children raised by a single parent, especially mothers, end up terribly in life. They will lack discipline because of the father's absence, but surprisingly, here I am today with my siblings doing pretty well in life, while those who said those things back then couldn't raise their children properly in the end despite being a complete family and doing the needful.
A few of them eventually praise my mom today, and she's fond of saying it's not by her might or understanding that she singlehandedly raised four boys, even though she tried her best.
The argument that two parents are always better than one is quite complicated, and supporting single parenting, even though it has worked for people, shouldn't be encouraged. Life and unexpected circumstances put some people on that path; they really don't have a choice, so condemning single parenting also makes no sense.
The coming generations are learning from us, and the things we do feel normal to them. Many of them won't see the need to stay in their marriage after a slight disagreement just because they were raised by a single parent. "I don't need a man or woman in my life" has become an anthem today, which shouldn't be so, but we can't blame those kids because they are living by examples.
I concluded a long time ago that raising a child can be really challenging, and regardless of what we believe, it's important for parents to combine efforts in their children's upbringing. Just because my mom did it singlehandedly as a mother doesn't mean it would work for me singlehandedly as a father.
It's very important that we are properly prepared before going into childbearing as a family to avoid a breakup that would end up with one of the parents raising the child. It would be wrong to deprive a child of fatherly or motherly love because we don't know what the future looks like.
All Image Are Mine.
This is true.
Some people did it singlehandedly and succeeded while some did it with their partner but couldn't succeed.
Life is so unpredictable sometimes but with God, we can do all things.
There is a strong spiritual influence in upbringing a child and that's why we must teach our kids the way of the Lord. Nothing is guaranteed really, we should just do our best and pray that God crowns our effort.
That's so true.
May God help us.
Raising a child alone with one parents absent can be really affect a child especially if they 9ne parents that is raising is a care free parents
That's right, the parent catering for the child determines a lot of things. Regardless of whatever happens, it's important that we do our best.
To be honest, when I read your post, my tears flowed without me knowing, because it is very difficult if there is no more parent who raises children is very complicated, it takes maximum struggle, hopefully your parents will be given health and a long life.
Thanks lots and truly, it's not easy raising a child whether as a single parent or complete parent.
Personally, there are impacts of both my dad and my mum in the way I live my life today. A lot i.learned from my father, same from mum, differently and when combined together, has been helping me thrive in life
Not withstanding... circumstances makes it impossible for some children to receive both motherly and fatherly upbringing and there is nothing we can do about it
There are many people out there raised by single parents with great future while there are still some people suffering the effects of being raised by one parent
My point is that our future is not completely determined by how many people that raised us..but it's more easier when both parents are available for their kids upbringing
It's quite challenging really and without God, parents effort raising a child is not enough. Many single parents especially mothers find themselves in unexpected circumstances and they don't have a choice than to live with it.
Who raised a child has a huge influence on the child that's why parents must be stuck together to get the job done. Single parents have successfully raised their children too so nothing is certain, we just have to pray that God bless our efforts and make our kids great.
It is so challenging to raise children alone not that there are no people that are doing well without one of the parents but the two are just good to go. Thank God for your Mom, surely it wasn't by her own strength there is a God factor
Yes, in many instances two is better and that's why we must be careful before going into childbearing. Like I mentioned in the post, it is not many people wish to end up as a single parent but life happens.
Your mom really tried raising four boys all by herself, she needs a trophy 🏆. God bless her. As much as some people would want to make case for single parenting, I would say double parenting is better, both the father and mother has an important role to play in the lives of the children
She's my super hero and I appreciate her a lot. Having both parents involved in raising a child is very important and we must make the right choices when settling down.
No one expects any circumstances that make them become the only person taking care of a child or children. Though most times, a child being raised by a single parent might do well, it still doesn't take the fact out that having both parents could be a plus and bonus. Nevertheless, it all boils down to proper upbringing and focus to train a child in the best way and with God's help.
That's the point because even the Bible says that raise your child in the way of the Lord so that when they grow, they won't depart from the training.
Whether single or double parents, when God crowns our effort, greatness is certain.
Exactly 👍 💯
Family is like a huge social experiment, a reality show where you don't know who the winner will be, but everyone gains emotional trauma for life, haha. I know people raised by grandparents with retro views who are more human than kids who grew up with two "perfect" parents. If parenting went by the book, it wouldn't be as much fun - either for the kids or the parents. Although, realistically speaking, both parties are learning - one about patience, the other about how to get out of chores.
You made a great point and really, nothing is certain when it comes to raising a child. We can't be sure of a child's outcome but we must put our effort regardless to ensure there are no lapses from our end.
I believe having both parents is awesome and yet, we can't look down on single parents too.
Wow! Your mom raised four boys all by herself? I can't even imagine the mental and emotional stress that comes with that. Luckily for you guys, she's well grounded and ready for the huge task. It takes a lot of physical, emotional and financial maturity to do that. I could remember how my kid brothers used to fight a lot especially during the teenage years. That alone can stress one's life.
Generally, good parenting comes from good people who actually understands the task and are ready for the sacrifice. When I was teaching I saw a lot of that and how it impacted teenagers.
Sacrifice ls! That's a very important one when it comes to parenting, that task takes a lot from people and we can't be too ready for the stage in life.
Raising kids isn't easy and kudos to every parent out there who has played theirs diligently. May the Almighty God crown their efforts.
Hi, George. I agree with you that we are a product of our parents; we learn from them. It is better if the both parents are present. However, I still believe that a single parent can do the job well.
It's indeed a good thing for both parents to be on ground for the great task. Being a single parent can be draining and overwhelming plus no one deserves the punishment to go through all those struggles alone.
I believe we must be careful in choosing who we want to be our spouse, we can't be too perfect though.
I have seen single parent train up children that ended up becoming star, you also mentioned a live experience. the destiny of every child is in the hands of God. Parents only do what they can do.
Though when both parents train up a child in a good way, it is always different. It kind of make everything looks balanced
Hmmmm! I agree with you bro, parents are just doing their best and God decides the rest. Regardless of what it is, we must do our best while waiting for God's grace over our children.
Raising a child is challenging indeed and it's best when it's handled by two parents who love the child dearly. Because then the duties will be split between them. It's not easy for one person. I know that for many, it's not a choice, because parents do run away, death is also a factor. But maybe having both loving parents during upbringing will always trump having only one.
Yes, I agree that it's best to have both parents who are ready for the responsibility that comes with parenting. It's usually a heavy burden for single parents and no matter how strong they look from afar, there is a lot going on in their heads.
Thanks for the visit, cheers to a beautiful day.
You said it well and said it all. And that’s life for us. It doesn’t matter the situation. Many people who are brought up with both parents in their lives ended up failing them. It happens. And a lot who were from single parents becomes successful souls.
That's why I always say that life is unpredictable and we can't be too sure of what would happen the next minute. Some people never planned to be single parents but they ended up there and just had to cope.
Whether having a single or double parent doesn't guarantee failure or success for a child. Parents just have to do their best and hope all works well.