Parents have so much difficulty in balancing how much they need to intervene in their child's life. Especially we have our own concepts of what is right and wrong. Of course, for example, if we think about stealing. Stealing is something that is wrong, and the vast majority of the population will agree that. But there are small things that maybe there isn't a clear distinction between right and wrong because it depends on how each person was raised. So we have some concepts of how to do certain things that maybe some other person can have a different one, and these types of things we need to be careful with our children.
Last week we went to an event at my oldest daughter's school. It is just a follow-up with the teacher and she also presented us with what she was doing for the last months. It is great because most of time we ask her what she did at school and she barely remembers! So this way we can keep updated and know what is happening and maybe find how to help her and give her a high five to see all the hard work.
Anyways, I always get lost in that school and after we left her classroom we had to go to the school's office to get some donuts that we pre-ordered for a fundraising. My daughter told us to go in a certain direction to stop by her music class, which is always open in these events, and she usually likes to go there to show us something that she is doing in music. But when we stopped by, she didn't want to enter.
The original music teacher is in maternity leave so there is another one there. She started to be nervous saying that she didn't want to enter. We asked her multiple times what was going on, and she just said that she didn't want to enter the first time. My wife got mad because she wanted to know the reason. and went inside to talk with the substitute teacher.
I stayed with her outside of the classroom and talked to her. She was saying that she didn't want to go inside because she just wanted the donuts. I told her that I believed her, but if something was happening to please tell me. I believed on her and I think that the right thing to do was to create this mutual trust. My wife talked to this new teacher, didn't find anything but still questioned a bit my daughter. I told her to chill out and she was happy with the donuts.
Sometimes my wife is a bit more intrusive than me, I understand her. But we need to give some space sometimes. The same way that she learned to ride a bicycle only during a period when my wife wasn't at home. My way to teach her was just to give some tips and sit down just staring if she needs help. She learned by herself, and she is proud to this day about that, and keeps saying to my wife "I didn't do using your methods, I learned my own."
Os pais têm muita dificuldade em equilibrar o quanto precisam intervir na vida de seus filhos. Especialmente nós temos nossos próprios conceitos do que é certo e errado. Claro, por exemplo, se pensarmos em roubar. Roubar é algo errado, e a grande maioria da população concordará com isso. Mas há pequenas coisas que talvez não haja uma distinção clara entre certo e errado porque depende de como cada pessoa foi criada. Então temos alguns conceitos de como fazer certas coisas que talvez outra pessoa possa ter um diferente, e esses tipos de coisas precisamos ter cuidado com nossos filhos.
Semana passada fomos a um evento na escola da minha filha mais velha. É só um acompanhamento com a professora e ela também nos apresentou o que ela estava fazendo nos últimos meses. É ótimo porque na maioria das vezes perguntamos a ela o que ela fez na escola e ela mal se lembra! Então, dessa forma, podemos nos manter atualizados e saber o que está acontecendo e talvez descobrir como ajudá-la e dar um high five para ela ver todo o trabalho duro.
De qualquer forma, eu sempre me perco naquela escola e depois que saímos da sala de aula dela, tivemos que ir até a secretaria da escola para pegar alguns donuts que encomendamos para uma arrecadação de fundos. Minha filha nos disse para ir em uma determinada direção para passar na aula de música dela, que está sempre aberta nesses eventos, e ela geralmente gosta de ir lá para nos mostrar algo que ela está fazendo na música. Mas quando paramos, ela não quis entrar.
A professora de música original está em licença-maternidade, então tem outra lá. Ela começou a ficar nervosa dizendo que não queria entrar. Perguntamos várias vezes o que estava acontecendo, e ela apenas disse que não queria entrar na primeira vez. Minha esposa ficou brava porque queria saber o motivo e foi para dentro para falar com a professora substituta.
Fiquei com ela do lado de fora da sala de aula e conversei com ela. Ela estava dizendo que não queria entrar porque só queria os donuts. Eu disse a ela que acreditava nela, mas se algo estivesse acontecendo, por favor me avise. Eu acreditei nela e acho que a coisa certa a fazer era criar essa confiança mútua. Minha esposa conversou com essa nova professora, não encontrou nada, mas ainda questionou um pouco minha filha. Eu disse a ela para relaxar e ela ficou feliz com os donuts.
Às vezes, minha esposa é um pouco mais intrusiva do que eu, eu a entendo. Mas precisamos dar um pouco de espaço às vezes. Da mesma forma que ela aprendeu a andar de bicicleta apenas durante um período em que minha esposa não estava em casa. Minha maneira de ensiná-la foi apenas dar algumas dicas e sentar apenas olhando se ela precisasse de ajuda. Ela aprendeu sozinha, e ela se orgulha disso até hoje, e continua dizendo à minha esposa "Eu não usei seus métodos, eu aprendi os meus."
Having you as a father should be an extremely interesting experience, I would like to be able to observe how you do it, but because of the way you tell him, he must have a huge patience 😀, but if you have a girl, because as a man you must overprotect the girl's girl. It is normal, if I were a father I would assume that role too.
I think that a very important part of raising children is to listen to them actively, and thus create trust, listen to the opinions they give us, what they think, that helps.
I am not a father, I have never wanted to have children, because I am not prepared for it (and the truth I do not want to be, my energies are focused on another direction), but I always say that it is necessary that the parents be educated, the government should offer a kind of course, training or workshops, to help future parents to develop the necessary skills well, because the task of educating a new life in this world is very important.
Good and light publication, I enjoy your style quite a lot in writing, sometimes I want to read more, and you leave me with the desire hahaha, that's cruel! 😂
!PIZZA
hahahah thanks for the compliments...
Well I try always to be light, and share common feelings that probably someone have the same being as much as transparent as possible. I just gave this advice for a new member of our community. The more you are transparent the more identification someone can feel the same!
Parenting has many challenges that I totally understand why someone would fear it! I will be frank, my first daughter was only born because my wife did some pressure... I felt that I wasn't ready! I was just finishing my Ph.D, and for me I didn't have enough support for a kid hehe.
It is all about moments and it is ok not to be a parent, unless you regret that in the future. I know many people who got old and now it is too late to have kids and they regret it.
It is very difficult! Believe me that I understand you, I always question myself not having enough resources and patience to educate a child, so I do not accept the challenge. I do not regret my age at my age, I am calm, I prefer from my corner to look at the children of others, so far haha.
some people enjoy being just uncle and aunts ;)
It's easier, much less work and spends less money! 😃
!BBH
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Cada um tem sua forma de ajudar e não quer dizer que deixar as coisas acontecer seja estar negligenciando nada. As vezes é a forma como se "conectar" com a criança, e da certo! Cada um tem um jeito, e por ai mesmo.
!BBH
negligenciar ao meu ver 'e a criança pedir ajuda de alguma forma, seja verbalmente ou por sinais e vc ignorar! Mas tambem depende que tipo de ajuda ela quer! Se for uma ajuda de que ela teria capacidade de fazer mas nao consegue por cause de mimos... ai é outra coisa ;)
with kids it's always tricky, do they really have anything or it's just your impression? are they telling the truth? the crap is, with kids you can't restart the level if you fuck up something, it's done
hahaha correct! computers are much easier to deal with =)
Without giving space to a kid, we can't hope for a better growth. Your kid is so adorable if she is learning independently. Happy to know she is fan of music classes. Similar things happens here in Pakistan. A teacher change sometimes can be a different nature that didn't match with nature of kids.
She loves music for now at least! I hope that it continue like that!
Being a parent is a rough job! Finding the balance is difficult, and no matter what you are going to screw it up. It's part of being a parent! Just like your child you learn as you go, but it's a tough job!
!BBH
We always screw it up right ? hehehe it is a basic!
Obrigado por promover a comunidade Hive-BR em suas postagens.
Vamos seguir fortalecendo a Hive
Bzzzrrr, não é fácil, é verdade! Mas é interessante ver como precisamos ser flexíveis e respeitar as decisões dos nuestros. Que linda experiência para as crianças crescerem com liberdade!
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