UNRAVELING MY IDENTITY

in Hive Learnerslast month

When I was younger I had this thought a lot, I always thought my parents weren’t my real parents because I felt they never treated me with as much love as they treated my other siblings. It took me some time, as I grew older to give an explanation to some of the reasons they were like that to me and now I don’t think that way anymore. But then, if I was to later discover that I was actually an adopted child, I guess I would quickly accept it because after all at some point I felt like I was an adopted child.

Especially for someone like me who only lived with a single parent, I can easily assume a lot of things if something like this happens. But then, now that I’m older, the truth is I don’t really care whether or not I’m adopted or I’m actually my parents’ child and that is because I have grown to learn how to love and make the best of every situation I find myself. If my parents were to later tell me that I wasn’t their real child except my siblings, I will be impressed because my siblings and I connected at a whole different level while growing up.

The memories I have of them are so beautiful that I might just be grateful they adopted me because I don’t think there would have been any other place where I would have grown up the way I did. But then, I will definitely have a lot of questions which if I can get answers to will help me calm down really quickly. My first question will be how I manage to grow up with them, What happened to my real parents and why did they allow their child grow as someone else’s. Maybe some other questions, but that will be it.

The truth is, adopting a child is not something that just anyone can do and they won’t let the child know about it except in very few cases. But then, for my foster parents to have hidden it from me, it only means they had a good reason and most times it’s because they want me to feel comfortable with and around them just like my other siblings. And for them to do that alone means they plan to love me just as they would love their own children, even though it’s not perfect at least they wanted to try.

Forgiving them after doing something like that is something that I believe won’t be a debate for me. I have every reason to forgive them because my life wasn’t chartered in anyway and they are being really supportive of me. The only reason I might have found it hard to forgive them was if I lived a useless life because of them or my siblings. But still, I would prefer to blame my biological parents more because if they didn’t had the almighty reason to give me to someone else to raise, then that would not have happened in the first place.

But! This is me speaking from my own perspective and experience. For some other people, I think the best way to handle such a situation is for both parties to be as transparent as possible to the child involved. Trying to hide more information from that child won’t help matters at all, it will only make things get out of hand. This is a time when everyone wants to say the truth and be apologetic and not a time to hide the truth and still be defensive of why they had to do what they did.

As a child, it might not be easy to accept everything at once but the best you could do is to listen to what everyone has to say and accept their apologies. And the child shouldn’t be compared in anyway to follow his or her real parents home if he or she doesn’t want to go with them. That should be left for the child to decide. And if the parents really love the child, I don’t think this will be a problem for them at all.

This is my opinion on this matter and it will be nice getting to know what you think so feel free to share with me at the comment. The topic is on ”AM I ADOPTED?”.

Images used are mine

Sort:  

Here's a small tip my friend 👍🏾 @tipu curate

A lot of black under surveillance on hive so my black brothers and sisters being downvoted for nothing on Hive 🚫

 last month  

Thank you so much friend.

Did they mention why?

No but it seems blocktrades is supporting this sort of behaviour

If you want to speak more contact me on Instagram @kgakakillerg ✌🏾👊🏾 !LUV

 last month  

It would also not be a debate for me too. I would let everything go with flow. By the way, when I was younger I also used to think that my parents aren't my own parents and they adopted me.

 last month  

It’s good to know we had similar thoughts while growing up, I’m happy we’ve grown older to know we were wrong, hehe

Curious about HivePakistan? Join us on Discord!

Delegate your HP to the Hivepakistan account and earn 90% of curation rewards in liquid hive!

50 HP
100 HP
200 HP
500 HP (Supporter Badge)
1000 HP

Follow our Curation Trail and don't miss voting!

Additional Perks: Delegate To @ pakx For Earning $PAKX Investment Token


Curated by tahastories1

 last month  

Thank you for the support @tahastories1 🤗

Nice one dear.

because I felt they never treated me with as much love as they treated my other siblings

This made me laugh so hard😂😂😂😂😂
Why do most of us have this feeling when we were young?
A friend of mine also said this too.

Best regards dear.

 last month  

Easy flow is the best way and solution yo issue like this because times are changing things.

We will only want to know the truth and move on from there.

Nice share sis. Greetings 🥰🤗

 last month  

Exactly, thank you for your input sis 😊

 last month  

Always beautiful 😻. Enjoy 😉 your week .

 last month  

You too sis, have a beautiful week!

 last month  

I understand how growing up with a single parent could easily influence how you think|specially in the aspect of wondering who your biologicals could truly be. Happy you found yourself in a treasured home😊

 last month  

Yes Protokol, I’m glad I found myself where I did 😊.

Thank you for stopping by 🤗

 last month  

Thank you 🥰

 last month  

Lovely post Hopie. I totally agree with you because for the adopted parents to have kept such a huge secret from you, and still treat you like their own own ,means the reason must've been valid.
I guess I wasn't the only one who felt that way at some point 😂, I think mine was coz of too much movies 😂

 last month  

The last part cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣, I actually still thought that way too because of the movies, it made me sensitive to things that didn’t really matter 😂.

Thank goodness for growth 😭😂.

Thank you Meya for contribution, it’s always a pleasure having you stop by 🤗

 last month  

Honestly the movies are to be blamed first 😂😂
You're welcome Hopie 🤗

 last month  

Hehehe, if we didn’t actually see those things we won’t believe what we saw in those movies, hehe

Yeah, I think I'd do same. There's really nothing to be mad about if they treated you well.

For some other people, I think the best way to handle such a situation is for both parties to be as transparent as possible to the child involved

I'm not sure there's a need to be transparent about issues of adoption unless the need arises. First, there's the fact that it'll be difficult for parents to have a conversation of that sort with you, especially children in this case. They're not mature enough to be able to understand and process information like this anyways. If transparency ever comes into play, it should likely be after the child is grown enough to be able to understand that just because they're telling him/her that they're adopted does not mean the family loves them any less or that they're trying to rub in their face.

 last month  

Yeah, I mentioned that it is mostly necessary if the child is old enough to understand.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me 🥰