Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It takes a lot of patience, time, and dedication. From my personal experience, I can say that it’s not an easy task, especially when one parent has to bear the responsibility alone. I grew up with just my mum around, and she has been the one carrying most of the responsibilities all along. We are five children in total—three boys and two girls—and I can only imagine how difficult it has been for her to raise us on her own for over twenty years since my dad left us even though he is still alive.
Raising even one child requires a lot of effort, not to mention five. Even when both parents are present, it’s still not easy, so I can only imagine the weight of the burden my mum has carried all these years. Sometimes I wonder how she managed to do it all—providing for us, making sure we were fed, paying school fees, handling house chores, and still being emotionally available for us. It takes a different level of strength and resilience to be a single parent, and I admire her so much for that.
There were moments in my life when I wished my dad was around. Not necessarily because I needed him for anything in particular, but just because I felt his presence would have made things easier. I believe two heads are better than one, and if he had been around, it would have eased some of the stress on my mum. Household responsibilities would have been shared, decisions would have been made together, and maybe, just maybe, things would have been a little different.
One of the hardest times for me was during secondary school. I remember how some of my friends' dads would come to visit them, bring food and snacks, provisions, and even extra cash. They would talk about how their dads took them out during the holidays, how they got advice from them, and how their fathers influenced their decisions. I would just sit there, listening, unable to contribute because I had never had that experience. It wasn’t easy, and sometimes it made me feel like I was missing out on something important.
As I grew older, I started to understand life from a different perspective. Even though I strongly believe that having both parents around is beneficial, I’ve also come to realize that not having one parent doesn’t necessarily mean a child won’t be successful. It might make things harder, it might affect the way the child sees relationships and even how they interact with people, but at the end of the day, we all have the power to shape our future.
There are people who grew up with both parents and still ended up making poor choices in life. Having both parents around doesn’t guarantee success, just as not having one doesn’t mean failure. It all comes down to the choices we make and how determined we are to rise above our circumstances.
For me, my experiences have only made me stronger. They’ve given me a different outlook on life and a deeper appreciation for my mum. She is my biggest motivation. Everything I do, every goal I set, is with the hope that one day I will be able to give her the kind of life she deserves. I want to take care of her, make her proud, and show her that all her sacrifices were worth it.
So yes, growing up without a present father was tough, but it didn’t break me. If anything, it made me stronger and pushed me to want more out of life. It made me realize that we are not defined by our circumstances but by the decisions we make. And for that, I am grateful.
One of the things I have seen in kids who were raised by a single parent is that determination to succeed.
What if I told you that a lady turned me down after hearing my background about not having my dad around. She said I can't have that smooth relationship with a woman because I didn't see my dad expressing love and affection.
I was surprised and unfortunately for her, she's in her third marriage in less than a decade.
Being raised by a single parent doesn't mean anything, it comes with some setbacks but doesn't determine how well a child will grow in life.
That's literally her loss then. I have never being in this situation but then I have seen cases like this before and it is actually very heartbreaking but then you just need to move on with your life and then the lady for you would show herself someday. Are you now married??
I am happily married bro, God made that possible.