Arguments are things I hate, but having a sister and a partner made me realize it’s something that must happen. If it were up to me, I would never have to argue with anyone. I have once lived with a cultist and a thief in the same room and we never for once had any argument. Not because there weren’t things to argue about, but because I wouldn’t allow us to argue about anything. Even in times when they stole from me. One time when I had two phones, the cultist guy told me he needed a phone to put his sim as he had recently lost his phone, out of the goodness of my heart I borrowed him my phone only for him to sell it and came back to tell me probably hoping to get a fight out of it. I looked at him and saw his expression was that of a person ready to fight and what was in my head was that I will never satisfy his ambition.
Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik
Although I was hurt by what he did, I accepted my loss and stupidity. Knowing his Character, I blamed myself for leaving my phone with him. This same guy would often steal my provisions, but still I never argued with him. Instead I started keeping my provisions with my best friend who would often cook for me. I believe issues need solutions not arguments. My anger for something someone did would never change the fact that the solution is in an action that isn’t in an argument. But then again it’s very difficult to have ladies around you and not argue once in a while. For someone like me who doesn't like raising my voice I can’t imagine myself arguing with someone over anything. This is also because most times the greatest hurt doesn’t come from the issue but from the words spoken in an argument.
Back in school, I had two different roommates after I had left the hostel of thieves and cultists. I lived with each of them for about two years and even after graduation. It was funny how we never fought or argued even over the simplest things. If I couldn’t do something because of laziness my roommate would do it without complaining and vice versa. But I can’t imagine my sister or partner overlooking something I didn’t do. They must talk, wanting me to explain. For them it’s different because keeping quiet isn’t an option. It’s a problem when you keep quiet, and it’s a problem when you speak because you will definitely say the wrong thing. Sometimes I can decide to ignore my sister and allow her rant all she wants without saying a word, I noticed it was more torture and to be honest I enjoy it sometimes. But the day I tried it with my partner it added fuel to the fire making me not just talk but beg as she eventually started crying.
Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik
Because I don’t like shouting or arguing I try as much as possible to talk out issues arising without making it an argument. I also let my partner know that if she wants my full attention in a conversation then she should try to avoid an argument. We can relate our displeasures without arguing over it and It’s way more healthy than arguing. Some say we disagree to agree but I do not believe that. I don’t think it’s okay for two adults to start yelling at each other because they can’t control their emotions. That action is one way I feel disrespected, making me leave such conversations before they even begin. For my workplace I don’t try to argue without proof because I’m looking to end the argument as soon as possible. If I am wrong, I accept my wrong and we move over to the next thing because I’m not sure I have ever gone more than 5 minutes of argument.
THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S PROMPT FOR WEEK 161 EPISODE 2
Posted Using INLEO
Your post has been curated from the @pandex curation project. Click on the banner below to visit our official website and learn more about Panda-X.