I often hear people say that the same way our parents took care of us like eggs as kids, that’s the same way the tables will turn when our parents grow old. They become more like our kids since we need to take care of them because they might need help in one way or the other. There’s been no rules set around this but as individuals, we all at least have the common sense and empathy to take good care of our parents. Even though it’s not compulsory, most people still do it out of respect and love for their parents.
Here in Ghana, I barely hear of cases where older people are taken to retirement homes. I know there are such cases which might be due to one or two reason but aside these exceptions, most people from around here prefer to cater for their parents on their own. But the question I ask myself is how many of these people get time to really care for these old people. With the life most people are currently living , working a 9-5 job, having to take care of your kids and husband plus your parents might be a hectic task for most people. Eventually, one or all parties would end up not getting the right care they need.
The case of my grandfather from my moms side saddens me a lot and till today, my mom is still pained. So, my grandfather isn’t from Ghana. In his old age, he didn’t have anyone to take care of him and so my parents decided to bring him down to Ghana where we have old folks in our family for him to hang out with while we take care of him. This , they said was good for his mental health and would make him a lot more active than he is.
So, he was brought to Ghana and the plan was him coming to stay with us so my mom could take care of him. But plans changed when my other grandparents and the other old folks insisted he come stay with them. We all weren’t happy with it because old people can’t take care of old people and the younger ones there were always busy and not around. But yeah, we had to go with the plan because saying no would mean we being disrespectful to our elders.
Every week, we would go to visit and everything was okay for the start. Then, he started to fall sick and needed extra care. My mom suggested he come stay with us since he needed extra care but the older folks were still against it. He would fall sick and there would be no one to take care of him or send him to the hospital. My mom would always have to rush from home all the way to our other house just to take him to the doctor. It was hectic for us all. We wanted to give him the maximum care he needed but we weren’t getting the chance.
Eventually, my mom got pissed and brought him back to stay with us. Here, we were able to monitor his health closely and give him the needed care until he finally passed away. May his soul rest in peace. Personally, I could see how frustrated my mom was from the start because she wasn’t getting the chance to take care of her dad and spend time with him until we brought him to our side.
Even though he was old and weak, we still were happy to get to know him and spend his last days with him as his grandkids. This experience has really taught me the importance of family. Money is not an issue for us and sending him to a retirement home wouldn’t have been a problem. But we weren’t going to do that because he was our own we would never be too busy for him. That’s what family is.
If I’m alive and in full health, my parents would never set foot in a retirement home unless it is very necessary. These are the people who nurtured me from the day I was brought into this earth so how would I not make sure to take care of them in their old age. No way, I at least owe it to them for all they have done for me in my life.
However, I believe this topic is subjective and not everyone might view things from my point of view. I hope you enjoyed reading this, thank you for your time.
all inages belong to me.
No one should ever be too busy to take care of their oldies because it is that moment they need more care. It's just like the table turning; they were the ones who took care of us when they were so active, now is the time to do that for them. It's best to have your oldies stay with you to watch closely than travelling miles to do that. Most times, it doesn't work best.
You’re right. They need care and it’s only family that can give the right care in most situations.
Personally, I wouldn't be happy to be kept away from my home when I am old, so it settles my own view on this
My parents stays with me..if they pooo, I will pack it..if it's health, I will hire medical personnel to give them the care they need
Simple. That’s how it should be!
It's always difficult bending what an elder has ordered for, I wish they had let your mum care for her dad from the time he came in, maybe he'd have stayed even longer with you all.
But I'm glad he got to spend some time with your family, and yes, that's the beauty of caring for them at home and giving them time no matter how busy.
You know how these old people are.😂
Indeed, it's subjective to individuals considering many factors. However, I believe that been taken care of by the family is the best choice.
Awesome write-up
Thanks for sharing this with us.
I agree with you.
Thanks for passing by.
you see what happened to your grandfather is what I am currently going through, my mum is sick but she doesn't want to leave her husband, we had to force her cos my dad even gave us the permission to take her, now she is staying with one of my sibling and she is feeling better and receiving the necessary care.
Sometimes old people just don’t listen.😂
She doesn’t want to feel lonely because when she goes to stay with her kids she won’t have any old person to talk to.
I’m glad she finally gave in and is getting the right care.