I ask myself how I even managed under my mother, because I surely planned my escape more than a dozen times as a child. She took no nonsense, yet she balances it out with abundant love. Seeing how well that turned out for all of us—her upbringing—I know I'll apply similar things when parenthood comes.
A good example is a stunt I pulled when I was about 4 years old and how she handled it. Doing homework so late into the night and using candlelight to see was torture to me. As a self-employed ex-toddler, I cherished my nighttime for anything other than work. But that was the only time Mom could attend to me.
So I did a little math. If there's no homework, then that simply means no torture at night. Then I got to work. One day, they gave us no homework. Told mom, but she thought it was odd. "Odd?? Nah. It's just one of those days, ma." I thought to myself. And so did I enjoy a well-deserved night of rest. Case closed.
The next day, during dinner, she asked about the homework again. Before I could say Jack, something landed on my back—three times in a second. Turned out my plan wasn't foolproof, and she found my homework under the living room couch. I ran out and cried out to my father in heaven, "Why have you forsaken me?"
How could a boy that young be that cunning? She had to perform some factory reset that night. And as usual, she pulled me close with love later that night.
Now it wasn't all about whooping my ass when it came to discipline for my mom. It wasn't even regular. She just never hesitated to reprimand her boys when necessary. And that helped me understand many things quickly enough, such as respect and responsibility. It just had to come with tough love sometimes.
Tough love may just sometimes come with physical reprimand, as it is over here. I believe effectively communicating when you reproach kids is very important, so they at least understand the reason for the disapproval of their actions. But sometimes, for the ones that prove stubborn or unwilling to learn to do better, I consider using physical reprimands or punishments to effect desired behavioural change.
I would rather give a child a pep talk so they understand how to do better. The thing is, it may not exactly cut it in some situations. I think that sometimes they have to undergo certain punishments, like the very interesting ones in the military school I attended. Other times, it could be "Raise up that hand," and one or two strokes may follow.
Even though I haven't yet experienced the full scope of parenthood, I at least understand that it is a full-time job. That I would be fully responsible for someone's upbringing and many of the values they'll grow up with. To then not tackle crucial moments with care and responsibility wouldn't be true love, like when a kid needs to learn by correction.
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NOTIFYVery true piece.
It's important for every parent to communicate why they reprimand a child so the child can understand it's from a place of love and will be able to make better decisions later.
Reprimanding a child should never be so as to feel good.
Parenting is definitely full-time job too.
Weldone friend!
Important indeed, or the kid would just feel they're not loved.
Yes sir.
I think many times as a child we can't understand parents love even if they punish us which creats evil thoughts in our mind. I think parents should understand it also and comfort kids after the punishment and make them understand why the punishment was given. Unfortunately, most of the parents do that. It creates the difference between parents and child and it can't be considered a healthy relationship in my eyes.
Yeah, a parent may mean well, but the child needs to at least understand what they are being corrected for and why.
The love language helps to prevent a child from wrongdoing. When children feel loved, they tend to drift towards reciprocating the gesture. As a child, their may be influences from all quarters but love from the home front can quench the fiery dart and put the child in the right track.
I think I get your point - that a child loved at home helps them do better. Indeed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣, my belly ooo 🤣🤣😂
U needed to see how I am laughing and rolling on my bed with this your statement Jay..lol
I love your mum's approach to discipline. I believe that without pep talk even after a physical punishment, parents may not have a desired result for punishing that child. It works very well, adequate communication so the child understands why he is being punished and trying to stay away from same mistake. That's love
I have no doubt that you will make a great parent after graduating from ur mum's school
Lolz
Nkem, please don't roll to the floor. Lmao
Better to always make the child understand. Or it'll just lead to frustration for everybody, because the child may just repeat the mistake.
😁
Graduation indeed
Thank you, Nkem
Hahaha. You thought you were smart enough but mom knew it was odd not to give you homework, she did her investigation rightly. Lol
There are different ways to discipline a child, above all, talking to them in a more loving way, like a pep talk would help too. They need to know why they are being punished.
A problematic yet necessary investigation on my case lol
And yeah, it's almost pointless if the child understand why they've been punished.
Hahaha 😂😂. You will not kill me with laugh you this boy. Your father in heaven have forsaken you. Did he ask you not to do your homework? I love your mum for that. Hahaha 😂.
Thanks for sharing
Lmao
Leave that one. It's between me and my father in heaven
Hahahaha 🤣🤣
I wanted to help you ask your father the question nah? But hence you said that I should live it no kwams.
When I read those words I cracked up and paused to appreciate the phrasing. This has to be the best explanation for discipline that I have ever heard.
No better way to put it. Haha.
Thank you