A couple of days ago, I was telling a friend how I always try my best not to tell a lie, that the only people I do lie to are people that I'm scared of, and this is because I fear what repercussions them finding out the truth would bring to me. So basically people like the police, the military, my dad and probably my girlfriend (if I happen to be in a relationship).
Of course the girlfriend lie wouldn't be anything serious, it will probably be something like me telling her that her cooking was good even though it wasn't, just to not make her feel bad.
Anyways, today's blog will be focusing on the dad part. And this is because after I added my dad to that list, I realized that although I'm grown now and I do get to make decisions myself, there are certain things that I still get scared to tell my dad about, due to the fact that I can't even imagine how he would react to those things. I believe I'm not the only one who always feels this way, which brings us to the why?
Is it because of fear or respect for our parents?
Personally, I honestly think that it's all due to fear and this is because growing up, most parents train their kids using fear. I don't know if they do it on purpose but apparently, fear has proven to be very effective when it comes to training kids, most especially over here in Africa... And this is probably because it is one of the first few emotions that we learn as a child because usually, what comes next after that is pain.
So let's say your mom asks you to be back home from the football field by 5 but then you get home by 6 and then you receive one of the biggest ass whooping that you've ever gotten in your young life, next time, whenever you think of that ass whooping, you probably will get home by 4 or even just decide not to play football for that week and sit at home.
So fear has proven to be very effective, but the question is... Is that the right way to train a child, should your kid fear or respect you? And if you go for respect, how do one go about that? How do you get your kid to respect you in a manner where they get to obey and listen to your instructions???
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STOPI think all of us are here.
In as much as we prove strongly in adulthood, we are very much still answerable to parents...I don't know how others but they're my God on earth
So do you think it's because of the respect we have for our parents or the fear we have for them?
I think it's indeed fear but it's not the fear to be beaten. it's just you are afraid your word or decision may hurt your father as you care about him.
So it's like fear, but from a place of love?