I had a discussion with my dad some days ago and he started praising and appreciating me for making him proud. Sincerely, he was extremely excited when he heard that I was posted for my service. He started reminding me of how I strive hard to be the best and making him proud while proving to everyone in the family that what they thought I couldn't do, I did despite not being able to provide all we needed.
I didn't come from a rich background as my parents did not have enough resources to train us in school especially in the higher institutions. We grew up understanding what life is and how we must push ourselves to be the best.
Life taught me a lot of lessons amid challenges and adversities. As of then, I wished my parents were wealthy and that we were born with a silver spoon. I would watch other kids of my age whose parents took care of and provided all their needs, but there, I witnessed how many young children went astray despite being brought up with wealth.
Our condition made us determined and we had the big picture of becoming a better version and one we would be proud of who we are, and yes, God has been faithful all the while till this moment.
A lot of times, I have had to think of my future and my unborn kids, with the thought that I wouldn't want them to go through what I went through but to give them a soft life and upbringing. But that doesn't mean I would pamper them and make them fully dependent on us, their parents because it is risky when such a thing is done. When kids have the understanding that their parents will always be there for them no matter what, it wouldn't give them the confidence to navigate life on their own especially when their parents wouldn't be there every time.
I don't want my kids to suffer especially in the aspect of providing every resource they need to become the best, but at the same time, I wouldn't spoil them with the wealth we have gotten and make them feel they have everything they ever needed.
This will make them not want to challenge themselves and face life as it should be. They need to learn life's lessons on their own. They need to face some challenges so that they can be tough and determined to be on their own rather than depending on their parents because no matter what, we won't be there forever. They need to be taught how to do things on their own, i.e making choices and decisions even though there would be advice for them.
I don't want my kids to go astray or become a bad example to others but to become responsible, so, it's not about providing them with all resources without instilling in them proper training and opportunities to face life on their own so that they would learn how to be independent to solve problems but with the thought that their parents would come in once in a while but they must be left alone to navigate and apply their imaginations and ideas to solving whatever issues they may face.
This will always prepare them for the great things that lie ahead of them and will be brave enough to handle them because I would teach them how to be resilent just like I am doing now.
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I support your overview of training kids to be independent while making them understand that they are loved. Overly pampered kids grow up with entitlement mentality and then end up becoming a nuisance to themselves and society. I would not want that to be recorded of in my own children
Yes oo. That entitlement mentality will make them spoil and can be detrimental to their lives too. They need to learn things on their own, also.
That's true
It was nice reading your viewpoint on life. And I agree with yoi 100% because life is so challenging these days, and kids should be taught how to survive wiith less fancy things. The best citizen comes out from these kids. You should also be proud of your father who gave you the chance to be who you are at present. 👍
Yes, kids should be taught how to solve challenges on their own without depending on their parents to do everything for them. They won't learn that way. Thank you, Shamis.
Very very true
I completely agree with you, children must receive preparation for life, learn on their own what they should do and always be developing, I think it is the best thing for them to become good men and women. The day your wedding is, I would like you to invite me, I would really like to accompany you and celebrate that moment :)
Aww. Will you come down to Nigeria for my wedding? Hehehe 😀 thank you for your comment 😊
Well even if it's virtually through a web camera I would go!, although I would like to be there and dance with you at your wedding ;)
Yes you are right, it's all the challenges we allow them to face will make them stronger not by pampering them.
That is the truth.
In difficulty we learn to value the things in life. This is why many people think that everything is easy when there is someone behind them giving them everything they need.
I agree with everything you think, I try to do the same and give my children what they need. Protecting and giving everything they need too much is detrimental to their upbringing.
You have said well. Over protecting them would be dangerous and detrimental. So, everything should be done in a minimal way.
It's good that you want to give your kids a better life, but also teach them to be strong and independent.
Yea. Those qualities must not be missing. Thank you, sis.
Princess is ready for kids mentally, I can't wait to see my beautiful boys and girls from you 😁
I think it's a common thought for all parents and children who will become parents soon... We all want the next generation to have it easier than we did.
Okay. Keep waiting oo 🤣🤣
I know that was what our parents had wished for us too but life is what it is. No parents want the hard way for their kids but sometimes, they are left with no choice.
Training your kids to be independent is the best you could ever do for them. Allowing them to solve problems on their own yet providing their basic needs is the best.
I totally agree with you
Exactly. They have to be independent too. Thank you 😊
Thank you, pandex
Training your kids and guiding them through life at a very young age, is just the best thing because it's only then that could actually listen to you and follow in your footsteps.
They need to know that in life there are times and those tough times are what makes us humans.
You are very right. Training kids should begin from when they are still young. Laying the foundation early is a better way.