The only time I tried risking something and decided never to try it again was when I loaned my friend a huge amount of money (#30,000) $40+. It was a lot of money to me at that time, the year 2016 precisely. I was working as a teacher then and I was saving the money for my degree education when my sister suggested I must further my education. I was also saving to support myself so I don't leave the whole burden to the one who has planned to sponsor me because I knew she had responsibilities too. I kept the money so I could use it to obtain a direct entry form and part of it to pay my acceptance fee. That was my plan even though my sister paid all for me.
My friend knew I was working and she had planned her movement. She came to me after receiving my salary and narrated her story of how she wanted to help her mother's business because it has gone down and there was no money to pull the business back up. She agreed to pay me back at a particular time and I also did not fail to explain what I intended using the money for. She is my friend, so, I don't want her to think something else of me, I did what I could and loaned her the money.
Ever since I loaned her, my mind wasn't settled. I kept having different imaginations and questions like: what if she didn't return my money? How will I pay for my direct entry form? I started imagining how I would meet and fight with her if she ended up not paying my money because I have heard of cases where people borrow money and do not return back, making the loaner or lender foolish to have helped. But I wouldn't want such a case or a situation I would fight my friend because of money. When I talked about it to my younger brother because we are much closer and we do rapport on anything. He started putting fear in me and making it worse for me. That was how I started regretting I shouldn't have loaned her, I should have lied that I don't have it and all sorts of that. I couldn't sleep every night because the thought of the amount and how she would plan to pay back disturbed me. She wasn't doing anything that period.
One thing that keeps coming to my mind again was when my immediate younger sister would jokingly say nothing should happen to someone especially if they have your stuff with them. Whenever I borrow money from her, she would say, "Please return my money. Don't die yet" 😀 even though she was always joking with it, I took it seriously and a lot of "what ifs" kept troubling my mind.
When the time came for my friend to pay back, I expected her to bring it but she didn't. It was then she started avoiding me. She used to come and buy something at our landlord's shop but she stopped coming and would only send one of her siblings. Once I asked about her, the sibling would say she is around and fine. I didn't want to go meet her at home, so I kept giving her time to pay back. At that point, I was so scared and started thinking of how it would be if the form was out or if I needed the money for an urgent matter. My friend turned to someone who was avoiding me and wouldn't want to see me. I started praying to God for my friend to pay me back without withholding my money. I didn't want a situation where money will ruin our friendship. I kept being patient and waiting for her to come.
After two months had passed away from the stipulated time we both agreed on, she sent a message to me for my account details. I even thought she wanted to pay all, but she paid one-third of it and begged me that she would pay my money as there has not been business going well. I pitied her condition though because she was also struggling to find a job at that time. I gave her more time while I was also praying not to witness anything bad concerning my money. She eventually paid all my money even though she paid in instalments, but I learnt a big lesson: Do not loan an amount you wouldn't let go because there are times people won't pay you back and still quarrel with you on your own money. This is how most people end up killing the ones who borrowed them so they won't have to pay back.
The week she paid the last part of the money was when the direct entry form came out and I was happy she eventually paid all without engaging in a fight or going to report each other to people to help settle it. Till now, I make sure to know the nature of the work you do before loaning you any amount or better still, I give what I can afford to lose.
Thanks for your time on my blog.
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Thank God she finally paid because some will not, and fighting will not even solve the issue. You have said it all, loan what to can afford to loose.
Yes oo. Fight will not solve the issue. Even if she pays, the friendship is ruined already. The best is to loan what you can afford to lose.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with loaning money to a friend in your blog post. It's unfortunate that you had to go through such a stressful and uncertain period. It's important to be cautious when lending significant amounts, as you mentioned, and consider the potential impact on your own financial plans. Your lesson of only loaning an amount you can afford to lose or knowing the nature of someone's work before lending is valuable advice. I'm glad to hear that your friend eventually paid you back, preserving your friendship in the process.
Yes, we need to be cautious when lending money to people as it may have a bad impact if things turn south later. I am glad you read my post and left such amazing comment. Thanks so much.
You are lucky she paid back and I think she had the will to pay but did not have the power at the agreed time.
I have cases of people killing someone they were owing just because they didn't want to pay back, that's quite ridiculous. Doing so much evil because of money is unreasonable and we should be careful when it comes to money matters.
Yes, you are right. She was willing to pay back but just didn't know how to do it. Thank God I was also patient with her. We just have to be careful when it comes to money issue.
It was very good of you that you were patient because he was your friend and somehow you trusted him and you were also afraid in your heart that if he did not return the money, you would What will you do then?
If you are lending money to someone, first of all you should trust him and know that he will repay you on time.If you think that the person will not repay the loan on time.So don't give him a loan if he is too compulsive.You should help him and give him some money if he returns it then fine and if you don't get it back then you don't have any problem.I think it is better to do so.
Because sometimes such friends, relatives or loved ones ask us, then you cannot forbid them
This is a great tip to loaning someone. It is good to study someone before loaning. Among them is trust. If you trust such a person, then you can loan knowing they will repay back. Thanks for your suggestion.
your welcome @princessbusayo
patience is a virtue, even though she failed to pay back the money at the stipulated time, for friendship's sake, you didn't turn it into a fight or start threatening her, I guess she was in a tight situation too, and not that she really didn't want to pay the money... Glad that didn't ruin your friendship and you also learned a lesson never to loan out money you can not afford to lose....
Yes, that was why I was patient too because of her condition then. She is really a close person to me and wouldn't want our friendship to get ruined. Patience is truly a virtue. Thanks, Burl for coming around.
You were very patient not to charge her for two months. I wouldn't have had the same patience, especially when it came to paying me only part of the money. Haha
😃😃 I was indeed patient with her because I didn't want that to destroy our friendship. Hehehe.
Wow, at last she paid, you are even lucky because the way she started avoiding you made me scared 😂
But what I do when I find it difficult to pay back at the right time is to politely explain to the lender and solicit for extra time instead of hiding
Perhaps the prayers you said on her behalf brought back your money 🤣, your name would have been sorry
Lol
Yea .it's a good lesson here my dear ❤️
Some people won't do this. They will keep avoiding you and even turn you to their enemies...on top my money 🤣🤣
Yes oo. I kept putting her in prayers because of how nervous I was then. Thank you ma for reading.
Uwc my dear
That's one thing I hate about giving out loans 🤣, it makes me uncomfortable especially when I've got a history with the person.
She tried oh, atleast paying back before what you wanted to use it for
Hehehe. I do feel uncomfortable when I loan out too because my mind would be there until they pay me back. Thank God she returned all completely.
👍
This is a lot of money in your country 40 USD?. No wonder u saying my rent was so expensive :P and that would be like 4 hours of work for 40 dollars for any blue collar job when I was still in California.
Anyways glad u got your money back lol i can't post about this because I don't really loan money to people, can't recall any so can't really write about this topic.
Hehehe. It's a whole lot of money here. Lol
I know it looks so small to you guys there because the life over there isn't same here in Nigeria.
Yea, I was happy getting the money back.
o.o yes I can see that. No wonder it's feasible to full time on hive. well it's scary if u didnt get it back lol maybe it'll make u think twice before lending again hehe.
Due diligence is very important before loaning money out. We have thousands of people that sincerely need loans to make a difference and I think instead of deciding to give what we can overlook to people, we can diligently study the person to know whether to give him what he requested for or not.
You are also right. Studying before loaning out is important. Also, there must be a concrete agreement between the two. Thanks for your feedback
That is my worst fear too! hey, it is even worse if they get in an accident and lose their memory. I will never admit they can't remember anything even if there is medical proof.
But wow for her to pay up all the money right on time for your entry form. That just shows that your prayers worked. God had to make sure their business thrived enough to pay back your money. Indeed one should borrow the amount they can afford to let go!
Yes. That situation always scares me too. If you loan and something happened to such a person, your money is gone oo 🤣
Absolutely correct, give what you can afford to lose to avoid any issue.
This is why I stopped using money I have plans for to plan people. There will always be stories. And when the time to buy from comes, will you explain to them that you have it to your friend?
Things like this has ruined loaning friends for a lot of us.
Same with me now. If I have a money at hand, I don't borrow it out because things may change and one would start regretting loaning it out. Thank you, Bruno.
Your story is the exact reason why I only give out what I can afford to lose even if I have to money to borrow
Exactly. I don't want trouble. I just give what I can afford, that is if I have it.
It really hurts when someone close to us lies and hides from us specially our friends. I also have such kind of experience and I will share it today.
Good thing is that you learned a lesson from it and I hope you will be careful from the next time.
Sure. I have been more than careful till now. I will be looking forward to read from you.
Lucky you.
Some borrowers do a lot of psychology and study. They monitor when you will have money and come straight at you. Good you were able to get your money
Exactly. They are very good at that 😀
And if you don't lend them, they become sad and turn you into a bad person.
You're right. God save us.
What I don't understand about people is that, why do they always think that avoiding the person will solve the matter, communication is very important, all they have to say is they don't have the money yet or plead for an elongated time to pay the money but no they choose to avoid.
Well, I'm glad you got your money back but From your explanation i don't think you were able to use the money for what you planned to use it for.
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I think adopting the idea of loaning out only what you can afford to lose is great. You wouldn't be in a tough spot if the person can't pay on time or didn’t pay at all. Great that she finally returned all the money she borrowed from you.
Some people won't even beg for more time to pay back. Thank God my friend returned all even though it took her time.