When I had no or very little understanding about toxicity and people that choose to stay in them, I used to get really upset about them being so slow or foolish for not leaving or doing something positive about it. But I was wrong about them, it was never that easy because those who still stay in a toxic relationship has something that is making them consider, forbear, something holding them or keeping them in it.
Toxicity is not only about being beaten up or abuse by a partner, it could be being treated way less than deserved, restricting one's right, etc. Fact is that some people fall under these categories but are not even aware.
For those in romantic relationship, a toxic one. Some major reason why they still choose to stay in such might be because of fear of what will happen if they dare open their mouth to tell their partner that they are no longer interested in the relationship: this happens mostly in very abusive relationship where the partner gets beaten severally and then gets threatened too. Such people most times don't have much people who have their support and can fight for or protect them and would rather stay than try to face the consequences (threats) their abusive partner promises.
I heard of a story where the lady was being abused so much that she got used to it. The guy raises his hands whenever he feels like, beats her up and never gets questioned. The lady, had no family member anymore. When she was finally able to leave the relationship, she was asked her reasons for staying with such guy at that time. She said she never had someone to love her almost her entire life, the guy was the one who had showed the best love to her and cared for her, she said she couldn't leave because she was scared of not being loved ever again. And sincerely, there are people who haven't experienced love so much that when they see one person who does, they stick with the person.
Another reason why certain people stay in a relationship that isn't so healthy is because of what they get from it. For example, a youth staying with a family member who is sponsoring his or her education but gets maltreated by doing almost all the house chores, gets insulted, treated badly, etc. Such individual might not be able to leave because he or she has no where else to get the sponsorship. In secondary school, I had a classmate who was in this kind of situation and guess what, no body could help her, even the school authorities couldn't. Just few teachers were able to console and encourage her to bear till she graduates. This classmate does all the work in the house but gets very little care and provisions.
I've heard about ladies who date rich but abusive guys and find it hard to leave because of what they will become if they ever leave. Almost everything these ladies owns were gotten through or by the rich guys. I understand that they might go back to zero because from different stories most of these guys collect things they bought for their partner when they break up. But is it actually worth it...?
The other reason is a crazy one, it is a mentality, a belief that getting beaten in a relationship is good. My first encounter are from married men who were encouraging themselves about how they deal with their wives at home and how much they get respected. Then, recently there are now ladies who believe that a guy beating them up is a proof of love, in this age. How ? I guess they haven't experienced true love except the one abusive one they are in.
A quite rare reason why some people can't leave an unhealthy relationship is because of low self esteem. Naturally, when one doesn't have courage, not able to speak expressively and stand up for oneself, believe and see enough value in themselves, then, they become easy target for cheating or maltreatment.
I hope and pray that every one in any unhealthy or toxic relationship will find a way out soon.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
