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Hi guys,
Welcome to my blog. I hope we are all doing well today. Well, today has been a very exciting day in my country as we celebrated our Independence Day today.
Well, away from that. Am not gonna talk about Independence Day as that might need a special post dedicated to the day.
Well, today we have another interesting topic. This a topic I think holds importance to all of us even though some of us are not parents yet but wish to be parents one day. Am the type of guy who thinks kids will love me so much. I say this because presently children love me a lot; not my kids though. I sometimes think I might end up spoiling my kids one day because of the love and care I have for children.
Growing up was very exciting I must say. Having older siblings who literally did everything before you will even dream of waking up was the dream. I could sleep and wake up at any time that I wanted and the only thing I had to attend to was myself lol. I only had to bath and then take whatever was prepared for me by mum or the elder siblings in the house. I didn’t do anything cause it was always their duty to make sure the house was clean.
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For me, I think the African type of parenting is a problem in the first place so yes I will have a lot to say about our parents. Am not going to direct it to my parents cause I think it’s the same thing across most African homes.
The first thing I think should be changed is how we communicate with our parents or should I say how they communicate with us? You as a kid are brought up to fear the father figure in the house. I understand that we have to respect our parents but then I also think that we should be able to communicate with them clearly when we face a problem. In an African setting, it’s very difficult to talk to your parents about your personal problems because you know they will judge you or scold you and then end up not giving you a solution.
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God knows when I become a parent I will like my kids to be able to confide in me. Tell me everything about their school life which I think is normal; the good and the bad ones. I feel like my kids should be able to tell me who they are in love with at a certain age so that I can at least advise them that the feeling is normal and they shouldn’t be shy to talk to me about it.
As a kid, we tend to be scared of telling the truth even when we know we are wrong because of the consequences. I think even when the kid is wrong he should be able, to tell the truth, because he should know that whatever he does has consequences and he doesn’t need to lie to save himself. Heaven knows that as a kid I used to lie a lot. I lied in every given situation because I was stubborn and I knew if I said the truth I will be beaten. If maybe a lesser punishment could be mattered out I wouldn’t lie so much.
One thing I liked about my parents was that they always gave me the benefit of the doubt. Whenever something happens outside they always chose to listen to my side of the story. Mostly, I was in trouble and each time they would listen to my side of how everything happened before they pass judgment. Even though most of them were not in my favour, I still cherish that kind of trust so much. That is the kind of trust I will love to be between my children and me. I will love to be able to listen to their side and then they will know that I trust and have faith in them.
I think parenthood will be fun even though it will have its challenges in every situation.
I will like to write more but I wouldn’t wanna make it a lengthy post so I think I will end here.
Thanks for reading.
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Good communication matters alot. A soft one btw you and the kids in such that they will not be afraid to open up to you when the need arises
Oh that’s a good one coming from a mom. I also think it’s vital so they don’t hide anything especially when it’s a bad situation.
Exactly
Sure thing.
sometimes many parents don't want to listen to what is explained by them so that their own children hate them, but even if the child is wrong and the parents want to hear what the child is telling, of course this will make it easier for the child to advise
Sometimes I think it’s hard to believe the child especially if the child has a history of doing bad stuff😂. But for me I think even if you will judge against them I think it’s best to listen to the child so that they realise you will listen to them.
Yeah good point here, I think a child or children being able to confide in their parents, brings them more closer to each other, and there wouldn't be anything the child can't tell the parent.
You sure will make a great parent when the time comes.
I hope I do make a great parent one day as you said hehe. Yep, I think listening and making the child understand that you will listen is the best one. They will ask for advice rather than going to their peers for help.
You will.
And that's correct
You’ve hit the nail on the head brother. Children should have the freedom to communicate with their parents and tell them how they feel and anything else. It’s better than scaring them away and making them seek advice from different places.
Especially seeking it from people with little or no experience. Sometimes the parents are scared to have certain conversations with the kids because they think it’s will lead them astray.
That’s where the problem is. If you don’t have the difficult talks with your kids where and how do you expect them to know?
I think I agree with you. When we fear our parents to much it creates some levels of barrier. When might not be able to open as we should
The fear factor should always be kicked out the window. We can command respect from the kids without fear. It’s necessary.
This is one very important point you have here dear friend. As a kid growing up most of the emotions, pain and others experience were pretty much kept to ourselves with no one to talk to free, you cant go to your mom, or any one at home it was really hard growing up like this and sure making a change on this will very much be a great idea.
Thanks for sharing this with us dear friend.
This is because we were not brought up to be able to talk to our parents whenever we had a problem. All the time we waited till it was very bad before they will hear about it and this is very bad.
Yea most of us where brought up to fear our fathers I guess it's because of the way some of them react to things.
Knowing the difference between fear and respect will help us do better....
Oh yep the reaction is scary most of the time😂. I also think in some cases the father figures are not present that much so you don’t actually get to play with them that much.
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