Ever forgot something?

When forgetting things comes to mind it is usually with a negative connotation.

Examples:

"Did I leave the stove on?"
"Did I lock the door?"
"What did my wife ask me to do this morning?"
"Did my wife ask me to do something this morning?"

Of course the list could go on and on, but usually people don't associate forgetting things with a positive thought.

However, forgetting things can actually be a good thing. Don't believe me? From personal experience:

The pain of having dry socket after a tooth removal .. gone.
The pain of rejection by my first girlfriend

and that list could go on and on as well.

But truth be told I'm glad I don't remember everything. There are a lot of embarrassing things, painful things, and useless things that I'm glad aren't cluttering up my thoughts.

In that way the mind forgetting things is a very useful thing. However, the brains mechanics can make forgetting something important get missed. Probably because your brain didn't think it was important so it didn't bother storing it.

Silly brain.... I want to know where I put my car keys!

The science of forgetting things

Now as we get older the brain gets slower in storing and recalling things so having a Senior Moment is pretty common with age. But how about all those younger people out there?

Well, I'm going to break it down to two main reasons why a person forgets things. Multitasking and Autopilot.

Multitasking

Guess what. People don't multitask well. We might be able to switch from one task to another very quickly but we can only do one thing at a time. So, when am I most likely to forget my keys? When I put them down AND my wife asks me to do a chore. My mind is focused on doing the chore so it doesn't pay attention to where I put the keys. If the brain doesn't store that information it isn't there when I need it

Autopilot

I think this is the more common reason for most forgotten things. How many times have I locked up the door to the Pharmacy as I close and get to my car and thing "Did I lock the door" as I get to my car. Then I walk back to double check I did because I totally don't remember.

But here is the thing. I don't do that any more. Well, at least not often. Why? I learned the problem. After always locking the door after work it became routine. My mind made a little autopilot program that takes over and just does it. Locking the door doesn't take conscious thought so it doesn't get remembered. Really Useful but also really annoying.

Back to the example of the car keys. When my wife asks me to do an errand my brain is on autopilot when it puts down the keys. Result: autopilot means don't remember. The task gets done but the brain doesn't necessarily remember doing it

A story of forgetting making things awkward

Just for fun I'll tell you a story about when I was not yet married. My girlfriend/fiancee at the time was visiting me when I has just purchased a house and was trying to get everything moved in and ready to go. Late in the afternoon she was getting hungry and I said "We will go get food once I finish up what I'm doing". Unfortunately the task took longer than expected. Then I moved on to another house moving task. Then night came and I was so exhausted I just wanted to go to sleep. The problem? I forgot to get dinner. Now my wife doesn't do well she she is hungry. Indeed she can become outright mean. This time however she didn't mention it at all. At least not for a few years later when she told me how close I was to being dumped. Guess I dodged a bullet on that one. But honestly, I was so busy trying to get the house setup that eating food didn't even register at that time.

Tips for remembering things

If you don't feel like forgetting things I've found two things work relatively well. Plus the are free and fairly simple

First thing is simple. Be aware that multitasking doesn't exist and trying to do it results in things being forgotten. That's how my dinner with my fiancee got forgotten.

Second thing is also simple. Be intentional. I may be understating this but... Pay attention to what you are doing. Since I've taken the time to make a phrase "Think of what you are doing". Now this may seem simple BUT for all those times I used to go back and double check the door. Or perhaps leaving the house and forgetting if if I closed the garage door. Well, if I think about it before I do it and NOT let the brain run on autopilot I can actually remember if they were closed.. Overall a big improvement in my life.

At the end of the day....

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Everyone is going to forget something at sometime. Forgetting can be inconvenient BUT if you look carefully and think about what you are doing there is a much greater chance you will remember you locked the door, did the dishes or brought pants on your vacation.

Be intentional ... it will save you time in the long run.

Or not...

But either way feel free to leave questions or comments. I always enjoy feedback.

The Joys of Forgetting Things