It's in the nature of parents to wants to guide and protect their ward at every given opportunity because of their love and parental instinct, however while that's is good, it's worth noting that there's a thin line between being a supportive parent and becoming a helicopter parent; which is regarded as the type of parents that are overly involved in their children lives, to the point of controlling and managing their experiences, which can go on to be detrimental to such children's growth and chances of survival when they're independent.
I understand that it's the responsibility of parent to superced the lives of our children from their tender age to the point where they can fend for themselves and these includes guiding, protecting, providing and offering valuable support and advice during each phrases of their lives, while these are good, we must understand that children also needs time to themselves to try out things and experience live without the constant input of their parents.
When parents becomes too present in the lives of their children, it can be really dangerous, because it prevents such a child from learn from their own experience and mistakes, so how do we as a parent plays our roles to our children without making it overly? I meaning how can we find the right balance between protection and independence? to do this, we must find out how we can give our children freedom to make their own decision and improve their problems solving skills, while we still provide valuable guidance they need.
Before I delve into how we can find a balance between the questions asked above, I guess it's be ideal if I start by explaining what helicopter parenting is, I myself don't know this until today when I had to read through it online, but then my understanding of it is an overprotective style of parenting, where everything is literally done in excess without giving the child opportunity to experience life themselves, because the parents intervene in their lives regularly.
Dangers of helicopter parenting on children includes inability of the child to make decisions on their own, since they're used to being told what to do, also lack of resilience, as they've not been allowed to gain valuable life experiences that'll shape their resilience, and lastly inability to handle independence, a child who had been taught and guided on what to do and how to do it throughout their childhood won't be capable of doing anything on their own and that's why I'm of the opinion that helicopter parenting isn't ideal.
Now being I delve into how we can strike a balance, it's worth noting that because be frown against helicopter parenting doesn't mean we should give too much space and that's why here I talked about some of the risks of giving too much space, own of which includes lacks of discipline amongst the children, a child who's given too much freedom without any caution will lack discipline, also poor decision making, while we said parents shouldn't be to intrusive in children lives, not showing up at all in their choice making can lead to them having a poor decision making, and lastly it can lead to emotional distance, because a child who doesn't have the present of his or her parents would feel neglected.
Striking the Right Balance
With the understanding of the above-listed points that talk about the benefits and dangers of being too close and distant from our children, now let's take a delve into how we can be involved in the lives of our children without doing too much, and below I listed some key points.
- Encourage independence with supervision: As parents, we must allow our children to make their own choices, and by giving them such opportunities to decide on their own, we can come in with valuable guidance in the right direction. Take, for instance, when a child is given homework; you can let them first do it on their own to see their capabilities and then offer support when needed if they're derailing from the correct answer.
- Encourage problem-solving skills: Like I said earlier, being too intrusive can be bad, and that's why encouraging these can play a huge role in children's lives, so we shouldn't always jump into their problems with a solution. Instead, we can ask thought-provoking questions that'll steer up their critical thinking, such as, What do you think is the best approach to solving this? And such can go on to help them cultivate their critical thinking ability and improve their problem-solving skills and confidence.
- Allow Safe Failure: I once wrote about the importance of failure and how it's not entirely a bad thing to fail, and the same should be allowed for kids to experience their growth journey alone, and that's because being overly protective and preventing our ward from failure won't be good for their chances of improving resilience from failure, such as repeating a class due to poor grades, losing a competition, and the like. These experiences serve as a valuable lesson that shapes their growth and resilience.
There are several other ways we can strike a balance between these things aside from the ones I highlighted above, and they are setting boundaries and expectations for our children, maintaining open communication that fosters a safe space where a child feels comfortable to talk to us about their children, and many others. These can make a difference, and we should initiate a change in our parenting style going forward because finding balance would allow our children to develop into independent, capable, and confident individuals. Our responsibility as parents isn't to hover over our young ones but to offer support and guidance on their path in navigating life.
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Over protection for a child is sometimes not advisable.
I love your point @vickoly
Yea it's definitely not good.
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STOPWithout balance in Independence and Protection by parents, We can't raise a good kid. We have to understand the values of good parenting. Aha! Your points are strong regarding parenting? Are you going to be father soon? 😂
That's just the fact, a balance must be reach to raise a reputable child who can fend for themselves in the future.
I'm already a father.
It is good to give children space to learn from their mistakes and to also make their own decisions. Also, every child is unique, what works for one may not work for another.
Thanks for sharing.
🤝
Yea they're great ways to not be too over protective of our children and allowing them learn.
Exactly sir.
Balance is everything in life, and it seems to be the key to all situations. However, when it comes to raising children, parents often err on the side of excess and end up negatively interfering in their development, having the opposite effect to that desired. It's hard to do anything different when it's your turn to be a parent!
!BBH
Parenting isn't an easy tasks and no one has a manual on how it's done, but then we must find a way to strike a balance in what we do and how we do it.
Parenting is not easy, the behaviour and the future of a kid depends on the how the kids grown up. The over protection is not good but as you say the less or no interference is also has bsd effects like indiscipline. Many time parents the parents do it unknowingly also.
!BBH
!ALIVE
Yea that's very true, we must do everything with moderation for the good of the child at the end of the day.
I think when something become extreme, it brings trouble. It's the same for parents also. They care of us and I agree with it but when they interfere too much in our life, it brings negative consequences.
Yea that's very true, extremity isn't ideal in parenting for the good of the children.
As a parent is not good to be overprotective to your kids give them space allow them to try teach them how to take decisions and how to manage challenges of life.