I've come again to start my post with "I can't believe the year is coming to an end." This year has been a Rollercoaster of fixed feelings. But in all, I'm super grateful that things didn't turn out the way they started earlier when the year began.
This year started with me trying hard to navigate through certain phases in life, everything was going smoothly till one moment it felt like my whole world was about to crumble, I tried everything in my power to ensure things were stable but then it didn't work, I stood there as I watched the incredible thing I've been building for years flushed down the toilet.
I couldn't utter a word, because it's been failing and I've been putting things back in order frequently, I was kind of tired of the back and forth but then its something I wanted to work so I couldn't complain but tried to amend things with my invisible super power "you might be wondering" I would always say to myself "Tari it takes two people to make this thing work" and here you are putting in the effort alone while the next person doesn't care, deep down I felt like something was wrong but couldn't bring myself to see it or let's just say I saw it but couldn't act on it.
Yeah! That was it, I was patient in it till the early part of January when things took a different turn and I was left alone "Now they've left me" It was just me swimming in the sea alone, I could see myself being drained in negative thoughts "maybe I wasn't good enough" was the only thing I could say to myself.
Days turned into weeks and did I let it get to months? "I think I did," but just one month after January ended, I felt a push in my heart to forget about whatever had happened and find myself again. I started developing this mindset of being enough for myself if not for anyone.
I started living like nothing happened like my heart wasn't messed with; it was at that moment I could feel the completeness of my heart again. So, the year started rough for me with my relationship being drowned in the ocean; coming out of that moment and finding myself was the major highlight of my year.
That led to me looking out for myself more, I realized the sacrifices I made that on a normal day I wouldn't "love look what you made me do" I give my everything to ensure things worked out between us without considering the amount of effort the next person was putting in, all I cared about was the fact that we are together "that was everything that mattered".
I'm grateful I was able to come out of that, though it was one of the most hurtful things I've ever experienced. But then it taught me a lot; I learned never to be the one putting the effort alone into making a thing work that two people have the major role to play.
I learned to pay more attention to myself and work on my aspirations in life without giving up anything about myself for the next person who isn't giving up theirs.
In conclusion: this year has been amazing; it has unlocked so many potentials I thought I never had. I'm grateful for the kind of life I'm living currently, the contentment, and everything in between.
"Unlocking of potentials" is truly unforgettable. Congratulations on these discoveries even as I wish you a great 2025.
Good to see the amount of growth you have experienced in the past year. And then it come out is a better person on the letter end. I hope this trend continues and you continue to be better at every aspect in life.