These last few days I tried to occupy them with mundane things, being entertained, going out, interacting, and in part it's because at this moment it helps me to transit in the best possible way, certain somewhat painful emotions that are happening far below the surface. These emotions make me think, make me feel the passage of time (which weights), and make life and living life very difficult.
I have always been a melancholic person. Already since I was a child. And at this moment I feel that plugging those channels to my inner self is being positive for my day to day life. But on the other hand I have the feeling that I'm blocking other channels. Those more important ones that make me connect with that other me that can be seen in my paintings. An intense self, but also intensely hurt. Then I start thinking, is it worth sacrificing emotional well-being for one's work? No kidding, I really asked myself this question. I am so lost in the everyday, in the effective and fast enjoyment of the day to day to cover other deeper issues, and meanwhile I cover everything else that is my source of internal production. I don't know, I'm with those thoughts in my head. I always think about it. And I always chose a little bit that other dark path in terms of my work, but today I really wonder about it, and what happens if I leave that path? Am I going to have something to say? I've been told that I do. I've been told that it's good to talk about pain from a place where I've already gone through it with a different point of view. But my work is that feeling, it's what I go through, it's what I experience on a daily basis and when there is none, there's no work.
And then what.
What is the meaning of everything?
One must learn to travel other roads, and adapt, learn with them and from them. And time. We need time for things to decay and settle down.
One more Untitled. Somewhat abstract, yet quite figurative.
- Estos últimos días traté de ocuparlos con cosas mundanas, estar entretenida, salir, interactuar, y en parte es porque en este momento me ayuda a transitar de la mejor manera posible, algunas emociones algo dolorosas que se están sucediendo muy por debajo de la superficie. Estas emociones me hacen pensar, me hacen sentir el paso del tiempo (que pesa), y hacen que la vida y el vivir la vida sea muy difícil.
Siempre fui una persona melancólica. Ya desde niña. Y en este momento siento que tapar esos canales a mi interior está siendo positivo para mi día a día. Pero por otro lado me da la sensación de que estoy tapando otros canales. Aquellos más importantes que hacen que conecte con ese otro yo que se ve en mis pinturas. Un yo intenso, pero intensamente dolido también. Entonces me pongo a pensar ¿vale la pena sacrificar el bienestar emocional por la obra de uno? No es broma, realmente me hice esta pregunta. Estoy tan tan perdida en lo cotidiano, en el disfrute efectivo y rápido del día a día para tapar otras cuestiones más profundas, y mientras tanto tapo todo lo otro que es mi fuente de producción interna. No sé, estoy con esos pensamientos en la cabeza. Siempre lo pienso. Y siempre elegí un poco ese otro camino oscuro en función de mi obra, pero hoy realmente me lo pregunto. y ¿Qué pasa si yo abandono ese tránsito? ¿Voy a tener algo que decir? Me han dicho que sí. Me han dicho que es bueno hablar del dolor desde un lugar en donde ya lo he transitado con otra mirada. Pero mi obra es ese sentir, es lo que transito, es lo que experimento en el día a día y cuando no lo hay, no hay obra.
Y entonces qué.
Cuál es el sentido de todo?
Hay que aprender a transitar otros caminos, y adaptarse, aprender con ellos y de ellos. Y tiempo. Necesitamos tiempo para que las cosas decaigan y se acomoden.
Un Sin título más. Algo abstracto, sin embargo bastante figurativo
I am sure you will have much to say if you just let the emotions guide you. Nurturing happy thoughts can inform the sad thoughts and give you a sense of perspective. I believe people look for honesty in art no matter what the message is. As long as it makes them feel something that is a goal in and of itself.
I hope @nonameslefttouse doesn't mind me tagging him to come take a look at your work.
I don't mind at all.
Thank you. You always say warm words. And you're right, but you know when days don't have a glimmer of light in them?
I'm not that same person today anyway😄. Tomorrow I don't know what awaits me, as I am a roller coaster. The truth is that I find myself in a wasteland. There's nothing in sight to encourage me to paint. I hope, I know deep down, that it's just a passing thing. That's all🙂. Be well, and thank you.
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