. So many times I wandered around without knowing what to paint. Quite desperate at times, others more relaxed. Allowing myself to go through my moment.
As a painter it happens to me many times when I have nothing to paint. Or I can't think of anything. Or I feel that every idea is too bad. Although sometimes I know that it is not bad that this happens, many other times I feel guilty. For not producing, for feeling like I'm wasting my time, etc etc. But there is a time. A necessary lapse of maturation of ideas.
Some people don't need it, but I definitely need some time for things to decant. Sometimes I rush ideas, I run them, I force them, I drown them, and this ends up being more terrible than going a little blank.
Going blank can be productive. Maybe it's a break, or maybe there is something that could be gestating in that emptiness. It happens to me that after those blanks I get a revealing, interesting idea. But it's happening to me that I'm not giving it the time. Then there is a succession of artworks that do not fill me up. That for some reason they don't connect with me. And I paint one and then I paint another, but there is no "that which I know is missing". And it happens to me more and more. Less blank times (to be filled) and more paintings that only walk on the surface. But beware, this is also a creative process. Maybe it's not the one I'm used to, but surely I get something out of it that I haven't managed to reveal yet.
At the moment I have three parallel series in process. It may not seem so strange, but in my case it is. Clearly my head is scattered and not focused. Some people work like that. I'm beginning to notice, or I think I'm interpreting, that this means I'm not diving into my ideas as I like. They feel a bit forced. I'm having a hard time. I'm finding it hard to focus the energy. I hope it's temporary. That's all.
This is a 50 x 70 cm painting that I painted in one of those moments. And it made me very happy! I didn't get to anything. Nothing else came out of it other than the simple fact of creating it, enjoying myself while painting, and arriving at a result, for me, interesting. I played some more with the palette and with the shapes. I even started painting the canvas in horizontal format but then the image "asked me to rotate it".
What a pleasure when these things happen. When you silence the guilt a little and let yourself be. Sometimes that's all it's good for, a pause in time, a passing enjoyment that leaves its smiles.
That's all for today. Ideas without closing, and no guilt on the horizon (today, of course haha).
- Tantas veces anduve dando vueltas sin saber qué pintar. Bastante desesperante a veces, otras más relajada. Permitiéndome transitar mi momento.
Como pintora me sucede muchas veces en que no tengo nada que pintar. O no se me ocurre nada. O siento que toda idea es mala. Aunque en algunas ocasiones sé que no está mal que esto suceda, muchas otras veces me pasa esto de la culpa. Por no estar produciendo, por sentir que estoy perdiendo el tiempo, etc etc. Pero existe un tiempo. Un lapso necesario de maduración de las ideas.
Hay gente que no lo necesita, pero yo definitivamente necesito un tiempo para que las cosas decanten. A veces a las ideas las apuro, las corro, las obligo, las ahogo, y esto termina siendo más terrible que quedarse un poco en blanco.
Quedarse en blanco puede ser productivo. Quizás es un descanso, o quizás hay algo que podría estar gestándose en ese vacío. Me sucede que después de esos espacios en blanco me cae una idea reveladora, interesante. Pero me está pasando que no le estoy dando el tiempo. Entonces se da una sucesión de trabajos que no terminan de llenarme. Que por algún motivo no conectan conmigo. Y pinto uno, y pinto otro, pero no está “eso que sé que falta”. Y cada vez me pasa más. Menos tiempos vacíos (para llenarse) y más pinturas que solo andan por la superficie. Pero cuidado, que este también es un proceso creativo. Quizás no es al que estoy acostumbrada, pero seguramente algo saco de esto que aún no logré develar.
En este momento tengo en proceso tres series en paralelo. Puede no parecer tan raro, pero en mi caso lo es. Claramente mi cabeza está dispersa y no se encuentra enfocada. Hay gente que trabaja así. Yo estoy empezando a notar, o creo interpretar que esto significa que no estoy buceando como me gusta en mis ideas. Las siento algo forzadas. Me cuestan. Me está resultando difícil enfocar la energía. Espero que sea pasajero. Solo eso.
Esta es una pintura de 50 x 70 cm que pinté en uno de esos momentos. Y me hizo muy feliz! No llegué a nada. Nada más surgió de ella más que el simple hecho de crearla, disfrutar mientras pintaba, y llegar a un resultado, para mí, interesante. Jugué algo más con la paleta y con las formas. Incluso el bastidor lo comencé a pintar en formato horizontal pero luego la imagen “me pidió que la rotara”.
Qué placer cuando pasan estas cosas. Cuando acallás un poco las culpas y dejás ser. A veces solo sirve para eso, una pausa en el tiempo, un disfrute pasajero que deja sus sonrisas.
Eso es todo por hoy. Ideas sin cerrar, y sin culpas en el horizonte (hoy, claro jaja).
Que lindo es leer todo el enrosque que tenés jaja, ese diálogo interno que todos tenemos pero que casi nadie muestra en las redes sociales (especialmente en Twitter).
Y la pintura ✨👌
Lo genial acá es que justo me comentás un posteo en el que te tuve súper presente jaja. Me queda resonando mucho tu proceso creativo y el vuelo que tenés. Creo que además de tu personalidad, es también que estás 100% en contacto con tu obra. Y eso es algo que no tengo. Por las cosas del día a día, y creo también que por mi personalidad y mi forma de encarar la obra. Me encantaría un equilibrio entre mis partes... Difícil, pero qué se yo 😁
Jaja es muy interesante hablar de estas cosas porque tal vez uno no se pone analizarlas si no surgen en una conversación. Puede ser que la personalidad tenga mucho que ver, porque todo me lo tomo así 😅 apasionada y profundamente; y en el arte se mantiene, no sé corta. También es cierto que desde que le dedico el 100% la cosa se hace más seria, cotidiana y es un flujo constante que no tiene interrupción, uno puede bucear por ahí tranquilamente. Creo que si uno desbloquea cosas en uno mismo, en un área específica, se desbloquea todo lo otro. Creo que estás en un momento particular, parada en un borde, y eso es oro puro aunque parezca terrible e insoportable.
Oooohhh, esta la seguimos por audio 🤣🤣❤️
Jaja una ya no sabe si lo dijo o lo escribió acá... Es para hablar por audio, si.
It was so interesting to read your process. Thanks for sharing that.
I also go "blank" as an artist and creative. And it is usually when something is "gestating" as you put it :D
Yes.
Or "arising"... I sometimes say.
I also need the Silence to allow deeper thoughts and concepts to come to light.
Perhaps creativity is the same as design this way. The space is as important as the content!
And the joy really is in the creating, isn't it?
Thanks for reading me :)
Yes! I don't know whether to call it "joy" every time I create haha, because I tend to be quite stilted in my creative processes. But there is pleasure, a lot of pleasure...
It's happening to me too just that I'm not allowing myself to have those moments in silence. Total chaos, because I'm going through some particular emotional moments, so nothing evolves, everything stays there, I think it's drowning.
I just hope that this moment passes and that work, art, emerges, which is what is costing me a lot at the moment.
🙂
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Painting without a specific idea in mind, is a very good way of seeing what lies at the bottom of our subconscious. The time you spend on this kind of work, is not wasted. I think the opposite is true - the search is almost more important than the final result.
Besides - the canvas can always be repainted:)
You mentioned turning the canvas, it is very interesting. Back in art school we had a teacher who kept telling us that if the work is well composed you can turn it at will - and it will always look good. It was fun to watch him turn our drawings of figures, still lives with a chair etc. upside down.
I have turned your paintings around and I think there is something in it:) They look great in any configuration.
I like ears. It is one of the very characteristic parts of the body, like the hands or feet. The size of the ears as well as the nose, changes throughout life, so that not only does this feature distinguish us, but in old age these parts of the body become almost a satire of our original young self.
They have a lot of nerve endings, they are very sensitive to the touch, so you can safely say that it is a very intimate part of the body.
Plus, there are many interesting terms for ears - tapping, setting ears. Ears are curious and naughty:)
Forgive this rambling. The picture is beautiful, and as you can see above - it makes me think, a lot :D
I forgot to reply to you, but you wrote me such interesting things that I couldn't overlook it!
Every paragraph has an idea to respond haha. But I'll keep this one:
I never thought about the ears as a very intimate part of the body. You make me think a lot, and help me connect this point to a fundamental part of my work. You have really brought light to this work, thanks!!!! Now I find more sense here to that subconscious part that you mention a paragraph above. I am amazed today, as much as the day I read it the first time. You must know that you have touched a very intimate fiber that perhaps continues to resonate.🙂
Hi,
no worries at all, we all have things to taken care of:)
I am very glad, that my insight was somehow useful to you. I find your paintings very intellectually stimulating, which these days doesn't really happens a lot. News are everyday the same just disguised in different words, art is repetitive or lazy, or AI- ed. I find it frustrating.
I am really glad you are showing your work here:)
Thank you❤️!!! The same thing happens to me, so, I understand you🙂 .
As soon as I can, I will pay more attention here, because it seems much more interesting than other sites with similar content. It happens that today my attention is extremely scattered 😬😐
No problem at all!
It is hard to keep up with this place, so much content to dig through :)
May I borrow your words about this work? the part where you say that the ears are a very intimate part of the work.👇 🙂
Definitely, you can quote me if you like.
I am bit crazy about anatomy in general, and nervous system is especially fascinating to me:)
See you around!