Howdy fans of the freakish and funtastic! Today's thrill packed episode includes an exciting poem by Richard O'Brien based on this silly little critter:
“Vinnie Vance”
“Gather round, rubes, I’ve got a secret to tell.
Now, some of you may think I’ve got something to sell.
You couldn’t be more wrong, my mouth-breathing friends –
this product sells itself and makes its own dividends!
You see, dear chumps, this is no ordinary elixir.
It can solve any problem you wish to have fixed, sir!
Does it cure the vapors? What a question to ask!
It confronts all old-timey ailments and takes them to task!
It can cure ship fever, green fever, winter fever, and camp fever;
it can cure mortification, black dog, and the bite of a weever!
It cures palsy, scrumpox, dropsy, and bronze John;
it cures lumbago and St. Vitus, and your melancholia will be gone!
But, my dull mates, that’s not all it can do:
it can make you time travel and fit a millipede for shoes!
It can straighten the Tower of Pisa and bring world peace;
you can find your lost love or lift a dozen horses with ease!
It can tell you the meaning of life and it can make you fly;
it can make you immortal, and you can give invisibility a try!
You’ll be able to remove the paper lid on the ramen without tearing;
It can make you a sandwich with expired mayo, if you are daring!
Now line up, lovely saps, this offer won’t last long;
at only a bitcoin a bottle, how can you go wrong?”
Disclaimer:
By ingesting this medicine, you waive all litigious rights and give your power of attorney to Vinnie Vance, Inc. Side effects: may cause femur misplacement, extreme social distancing, ocular initialism, liver suicide, dental hilarity, ROYGBIV coloration, tree bark fascination, vivacious drooling, laughter remorse, and roaming fontanel. Note: Vinnie Vance does not exist and appears only in hallucinations; if you see Vinnie Vance, you have probably already used this elixir and should contact a non-blue, non-fuzzy-headed doctor immediately. Do not take if you own a shirt or are currently breathing.
Yeah! Now THAT's the stuff!!! Thank you, Mr. O, for introducing us to this exciting new product! (I tend to suffer from the vapours, on occasion, so I'll be looking into Vinnie's concoction!)
Now let's switch a gear or two and look at some artzes!
There ya go! A fun poem and a handful of drawerings... Hopefully these bits gave you a bit of a larf! (If not, try some of Vinnie Vance's Old Timey Elixir and then read it again!!! Ha!)
Later, skaters!!!
---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)
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