I have tripped over things often enough in my life and bumped into something like a door frame or something, but the last vertical splat I remember very well was this year in April. We had taken the car to the garage for the annual MOT test, which was done faster than expected so we could pick up the car very quickly. We decided that we wanted to go away with Skipper afterward. But before we went to pick up the car I would quickly let Skipper out so that he would have an empty bladder while waiting for us to come back. Now Skipper had already heard something about being allowed to come along, so he thought that it was already time. He started running as soon as we came outside, and a 50-kilo dog is damn strong, so there was nothing else for me to do but run with him. It would have gone well if that 1-meter-thick oak tree had not been in the way. Skipper ran past it nicely, and I saw that I would crash into it but could not stop or swerve. The vertical splat that followed stopped both me and Skipper. And after picking up the car from the garage, it was not a trip with Skipper, but a trip to the emergency room of the hospital.
Well now, this is vertical splatting at the next level. Splat 2.0.
I like it, I like it a lot, but would have liked it better had I been there to witness the vertical splat in person.
Also...I hope you weren't too I jured after this awesome splat!
I remember very well, my partner saw happening it from inside the house. And his reaction at first was a laugh. Then he came running out, asking if I was okay. When I said "NO" he started looking. I had a tear on the outside of my upper lip and a hole on the inside in the same place. The tear on the outside was glued and the inside was able to heal by itself. Luckily it was not completely torn. In the end, I had that glue on my lip for 10 days before it fell off. And now about 4 months later there is nothing much left to see, only people who know see it. And luckily I hardly notice it anymore, except for a small bump of scar tissue on the inside of my lip that will probably go away. So all's well that ends well.
Not too bad as far as injuries go, it could have been much worse. I wonder if you still go past that tree these days...and if you give it a kick when you do. (Just don't hurt your foot!)
It could have been a lot worse, yes, in that respect I was lucky. At first, I said to my partner, "We should cut down that tree and turn it into table tops, then we can make money from it too!". But of course that is not allowed, and after a day I decided that the tree could not help it either. It had been there for many years before I was even born. So instead of getting angry at the tree, I still admire it every day and I am happy that I can at least enjoy a little bit of nature around me. That is a lot more difficult for many Dutch people. Nature is so important to us, even if the feeling of "being one with nature" sometimes turns out to be a bit painful if you try to take it too literally.
I'm glad you forgave the tree, it was just minding its own business after all. I wonder if it tells its tree friends about that time it had a vertical splat with a human though. 🤔
I am sure that tree has told every tree in the area about it. Every time I walk past it I hear the branches rustling as if they are laughing at me. The ones that are close by make the same noise, every tree on the forest path seems to be laughing at me. My partner always says that it is fairly windless there and that he never hears that kind of noise. So it must be that those trees are laughing at me. Luckily they have not changed position so another splat is almost impossible. But never say never!
Those trees are definitely laughing...but that's ok, it's nice to know they still have something to laugh at despite how humans treat nature.