Being generous is great. Accepting generosity is not easy for all. I am still like you, finding hard to accept gits and rewards but I sometimes think that this is some kind of subconscious thing that makes me think I do not deserve it. I am a productive guy, always have been,and I have grown up thinking that I had to give more, be more, do more. That led me to feeling not "enough" sometimes. But also led me to a high quality of works I deliver. Like you I guess!
After some sharing of feelings, congrats with your bonus! Well deserved!
I think it's important to understand one's own worth and value, but not push it upon other people. I don't like being the centre of attention and receiving gifts like this, when I feel I've not really done anything to warrant it makes me feel a bit awkward, but I'm also not one to take away the giver's enjoyment of gift giving, so I accept graciously.
Thanks for your comment...it seems like we are similar in this way.