BE YOUR HAPPINESS FIRST .

in Freewriters3 years ago

Humans were not created to be islands, we were created to fellowship, associate with one another and bring out the best in ourselves by sharing love, experiences and other shareable things. (lol).
But making another person the author of your happiness is just extreme, that you’re dating a man or a woman doesn’t mean you should make them the sole source of your happiness and living.
Please don't choke your dating partners to death, monitoring them, spending all your 24 hours with them without giving them the space to do the things they want to do.

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Even though they love you, they’re already getting tired of you because you don’t understand the meaning of autonomy in a relationship. Many young people especially ladies are like this, they date people and become too attached to them.
They date with the sole essence to turn all of their lives to
their partners, without having any motivation to do anything else asides to call their partners, be on phone with him 247, chat with him and all.

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If you date this way, you’ll drive a good person away. It’s sickening to have somebody always choke up your space especially when you’re not doing anything else. And even though they love you, they are getting tired of being in a
relationship with you.
No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t spend quality time with whoever you’re dating, but give them some air to breath, do their own thing, give them the space to be with their own friends, enjoy their own company, concentrate on their work or business.

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Don’t choke their space. Don’t be up in their nose every time, monitoring their activities and sniffing their panties. Get busy doing something for your life too. How do you do this?
Create some time for yourself too. Read books. Find something to do. Learn a skill. Get intentionally busy with your time. Create your own kind of fun. Enjoy being alone with yourself too. Sometimes spend sometime just thinking of your future, developing what you love, day dreaming and having your own long of fun.
Go out with your own friends. Write a book. Go online and read a new topic. Do something productive with the time you have. Create time for your own personal and career developments too. Create time for your mental growth too. Read about
child birth. Read about raising children. Read on parenting. Read on stuff outside your immediate environment. Read on topics that interest you. See if you don’t learn to develop this healthy sense of being alone, the reality is that when you get married, you’ll have to learn to be on your own sometimes.
You’ll have to learn to demonstrate a healthy distance with yourself independent of your partner.

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You’ll need to pursue your own dreams, be alone in your own thoughts, pursue your own purpose. Your husband or wife would not always be there for you.
Marriage means that you’ll need your own space to be yourself. Your partner would not be there all the time to fill up your own emotional void. Marriage requires some healthy separation where you both can manage your separate goals, but if you’ve made him or her the sole source of your happiness, choking their space, feeling empty and lacking the zeal to live because you’ve put your own life on hold, how do you cope being married?

This is when you’ve to learn to cultivate the habit of loving and being with yourself before getting married.
At this time can we say you’re truly ready for marriage.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.