I ask myself "How did I fall for you?"
not knowing the answer was right under mu nose all these while.
I know what I wanted and told you so even though you were not half what I wanted and you admitted it.
I fell in love with you because I grew up seeing love.
I am uniquely built that way and even though I've been through some shitty and devastating periods in my life, I still believe in love because of the peace in it, which is what I long for in my life.
I love peace and I'd do anything to have it, not a fake or pretentious one, but a true, genuine peace that leaves you flourishing and blooming graciously to the glory of God and to the astonishment of people.
I loved you because I felt I wanted to.
I really wanted to and I couldn't control it.
It's not something I could just turn of like a switch or something.
I fell for you and I had no reason to, I just did.
Till today I still can remember the rhythm of your laughter.
I've asked myself thoroughly these days whether it was genuine, and if it was, how could something like it disappear into thin air?
Or how could you give it to just any other woman?
Crazy thoughts and questions on a queue in my mind right now.
Crazy thoughts I tell you.
I'm not done venting though.
I still feel there's some love left in me for you that I need to discard.
I will. I definitely will, but till then I'll vent and hope to heal faster than I think.
