For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't have any power, the power of money, the power of power, the power that every spoiled guy achieves; I am in lack of them. I wish I weren't this honest; I wish I weren't this calm and quiet; I shouldn't have cared so much about what's ethical and what's not.
I have always hated politics and stayed far from this unhealthy path, but it's always said that whether I have an interest in it or not, it does have an interest in me for sure. It comes with power and lots of money.
Throughout my whole life, I have always thought of not harming anyone unnecessarily, have cared for others, and have always maintained a good relationship with everyone. Perhaps being good is a curse in this society, and that's why the ones that try to have a minimal life face problems of the most complex kinds.
Such one is roaming around me, pretty hard, the hardest one so far, and will make the whole family suffer for a long time. What's the solution? Nothing, the damage is done, an eternity ahead of us to let it heal or maybe rot in the long run; who knows?
I have regrets, for the first time, for not doing the wrong that could have given me the power to stay above the wrong that harms people. I have prayed so much for our well-being, but this is what I am facing. I can't accept this; I can't accept it at all. Someone said that the Almighty tests us with problems, but why so hard? I can't bear it; it hurts so bad. One problem comes with multiple problems; it gets chained to one another.
Right now, I am seeing blank, and my heart is shaking with fear; so many things were there, so many dreams, beautiful ones, but things started to scatter; everything got changed just because of one problem. There was a saying; Hit hard, hit often; life played that Ace card on me. Is it a checkmate, or is there a narrow escape? No matter what, things will never be the same again. There are a few things and if those are spoiled, they are spoiled forever.
Things feel like a dream, a bad one that is happening for real. Usually, I get relieved that it's just a dream, and maybe for a few hours, I stay shocked, but this time, it came to reality, and it hurts a lot. It made me say that I am regretting for being so naive and calm. Why didn't I do whatever I should have done carelessly when I had the chance? Why did I care for others? What did I get in return for being so ethical throughout my whole life?
Everything is completely BLANK from here......
Time heals everything💖
Exactly
I can understand your situation. May be it's because many characteristics of you match with me. Sometimes I also think that I should not be too good specially considering the situation and environmental of our country. I don't know what actually happened with you. You can share if you want.
Whatever the reason, just pass the bad time and stay strong..
Trying to do so, keep me in your prayers.
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