I am so sorry for your loss. I've missed your posts; now I understand why you haven't been writing. I encourage you to keep searching for God and His truth. It's all right there in the Bible, and those who seek will find. I could not manage life without my faith and belief in God and in Jesus.
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Every day from November to April, I read Susie Larson's Daily Blessings and shared them with Kelly. Who could be more positive and uplifting than Susie, reminding us of all God's promises, and telling us herself, "I promise you, it's true" - but my capacity to believe the Bible as anything but myth was stretched beyond the breaking point. I was a skeptic all my life, but kept the doors wide open and pray every day and take long walks, singing hymns ("Speak Lord; I love to listen to your voice") - but I just don't hear God in the wind or feel Jesus in the sunbeams. I feel alone and very small, yet part of something bigger, and perhaps not entirely insignificant. The God of the Bible is so present to so many millions of people. It's because of those who believe that I don't consider myself an atheist. I'm a wannabeliever. Thanks again for your kind words. "Without Jesus, we have nothing," said one friend, but, hey, we have courage and curiosity, wonder and hope. That's not nothing....Thank you @scribblingramma!