I like your poems especially the second one.
I'm not very familiar with English poetries format (I just wrote however I wanted most of the time) so I'm not really used to see the white spaces you used here.
What kind of purpose the white spaces serve exactly? (Sorry I really don't know)
I use it to separate ideas and phrases which I'm sure are important. This is to draw attention to each phrases contribution to the overall effect.
I also use the white spaces to represent silence. How can you say so much with saying little? That is the idea.
If you look closely you will notice that there are no punctuations in the poems. Punctuations are replaced with those white spaces..
You should look to some modern writers American (latin and African), European and African. You'd be surprised at experimental styles of poetry that are out there.
Ah I see. I thought it was only for aesthetic purpose, to form certain shapes out of the words and lines.
Now that I reread your poems with and without the white spaces, I can definitely feel the difference in the poem delivery.
Thanks for the insight!