I have to read this through the lens of your recent loss.
A couple thoughts, none of which is likely to be helpful, but it's poetry so that's OK?
We scrimp and save for rainy days too, not only sunny ones. You've had your sunny days, mixed in drab working days.
The shelf is not bare yet.
One foot in front of the other, same as when you are trying to please someone else.
For me, it helps to set a goal, such as "how can I do this so as to change the lives of my children as little as possible?" That one made a lot of tough decisions much easier for me to make, and it all worked out after one very hard spate of years.
I wish I could do more, but you've got this. I know you do.
This is what my plan is at the moment. Smallsteps hasn't been told yet, but I will tell her next week what is going on. It is going to worry her, as she knows how important work is, and understands we need it to maintain our house. She doesn't know to what extent. The only reason I haven't told her yet is that this weekend is her "Dream weekend" where she has got to choose what we do for the entire lot, including the menu. This has been planned since before I heard of the situation, but will write about what we are doing later :)