In dim-lit corners of a smoky haunt,
Where spirits dance to forget their pain,
Two souls find solace amidst the fray,
The man at the bar and the girl at bay.
He, drowning sorrows in amber haze,
Seeking to wash away the night's bitter taste,
Haunted by memories he cannot erase,
Invisible amidst the boisterous chase.
She, with trembling hands and a weary gaze,
Raises her glass to mute the echoes of yesterday,
Aching heartstrings, tied in knots, frayed,
Invisible, yearning for shadows to fade.
Their paths converge, two broken souls,
Seeking refuge from wounds that refuse to heal,
Do they not share the same bittersweet toll,
Both caught in life's relentless wheel?
The man, lost in his own desperate abyss,
Longs for a touch, a glance, a word, amiss,
Yet his pleas go unnoticed, as if unseen,
A shadow among shadows, a ghostly sheen.
And the girl, too, feels the weight of her plight,
Aching beneath a shroud of silent plight,
Seeking solace in spirits, her silent plea,
Invisible to the world, just like he.
Could it be, in this realm of fractured dreams,
Where pain and longing intertwine,
That the girl and the man, in silent screams,
Are but reflections of the same design?
Seeking refuge from painful memories,
They sit in silence, together apart,
Invisible souls, yearning to break free,
Bound by the echoes of their broken hearts.
I guess my reply to the poem or should I say my interpretation is that both the man at the bar and the woman are one and the same. It got me thinking that what if the man is drinking because of the same reason the woman is drinking? That they both feel unseen and invisible to the world? I forgot to mention that your poem is incredibly unique and I've never read anything like it on Hive so far.
I really enjoyed your response. At first I thought you were replying to a different post because your opening line seemed to have a very similar cadence and structure to the opening line of another poem I posted recently (after reading both poems again, I no longer think that), but as I read on, I realized that you had imagined your own world/poem inside of the two I had posted here.
I really love what you’ve done with them. I think it’s difficult to pull off rhyming verse that remains interesting and surprising, but you’ve done it very well. The cadence and somber/mysterious tone of your writing remind me a lot of Edgar Allan Poe.
You should turn this into a post of its own.
Thank you so much for the kind words, but it's not really my world...it's yours! I just have a habit of writing poetic responses and providing my own interpretation based on what I think is going on in the original poem :)
Sometimes the entrance to a world of your own is found by traveling through the world of another’s.😉
Nicely said :)