She's pretty but strange/smooth
the skin/the veil/whittled down
to smile/to mask the tide/the fever/
the haze/to move inside the flesh
like something wrong/the wrong
dress/mind/ all unreason/But listen
to her speak/how frail/ how bird/
How smoke in the city is her voice
in the rich husk upon husk of drink/
of deep feeling/How wet her
ceaseless eyes in the gloom/
plucking with small hands/clean
nails/heavy hammer/the inorganic
grief/Doll face/how beautiful
and lost/terrible and bruised
📸: x-ray of a plant.
I liked the cadence of the poem and there is some beautiful imagery however overall I found it confusing. I did read it twice but I found the contradictory images - well confusing, sorry about that. It's probably me.
I understand what you mean. What I did and do a lot of in my poetry is build on impressions. I don't apply logic but rather the impression I get from a word. So if I start a line with, for instance, The tree has fallen to its roots, i don't continue as others may do. Rather I look at say the word, root and build from there. So the next line could be, burial chamber, all soil and sleep. Then I could pick sleep and build on and so forth. I don't always follow this system religiously. I also let my intuition guide me.
Thanks for reading and the lovely comment.
Thanks for coming back to me :). Ah impressionist poetry - I find it hard to write that way I must confess. For me having something to say is my raison d'etre. Beautiful imagery throughout. I have also adopted your style of using /
Oh nice. I do that in reaction to the traditional structure of punctuations. Experimenting is good. I do it a lot. Thanks for the follow.
Beautiful words, beautiful placement, beautiful intent. I have missed reading your poetry xxxx
And that image is fire, seeing into it, very fitting xx
Thank you my friend. Indeed the image is amazing. I discovered the work by chance and I have been entranced since. The frail nature of flowers revealed to the naked eye is just refreshing. I have been struck with black and white photographs since then.
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Thank you for the kindness