Barber Shop Stories - Part 1

Photo taken from my phone.

I woke up early today and the first thing I did was grab my phone to check on my post. (Feeling hopeful) I waited for the page to load and when it did I see that there were 4 notifications from 2 people.

Just 2 people and one of which I think is a bot.

You ask why? Well, I ask him/her "What did you think about the article? and his/her reply was... "That's great!"

"That's great????"

I wonder if I replied to it with "I'm writing a new article today." it would reply with "It's really funny."

So I tried to connect his reply to my question and I was stuck there just thinking about it.

[Thinking] "That's great????"

Well, it's better than nothing.

So, I get out of bed, went to the bathroom, take a leak and looked at myself in the mirror. And then I noticed that my hair has grown. It's been a while since I had a haircut. So I thought maybe I'll write something about getting a haircut. I do have some funny stories about it.

Like the one's from my father's favorite barber shop. The barbers there are all elderly people and they look like they were stuck in the 70s. I think they're all dead now though.🤔🙁

Anywho, my father would always take me there when I was little and we would both get a haircut. It was like our thing.

My favourite was the one who looked like Elvis. He had these really thick sideburns and he always wore bellbottom pants. I tried busting his balls once,..

I asked him, "Why did you quit singing and decided to be a barber?" Confused, he asks me back, "What do you mean?". Then I tell him, "Aren't you Elvis?" He just smiles and looks at the other barbers and tells them, "The kid thinks I'm Elvis" and then everybody laughs. And then one-liners would just fly back and forth inside the barber shop. It was really funny watching these old farts banter at each other, they have so many bullets in their pistols. I couldn't keep up. Needless to say, I was no match for them.

But there's one really funny story about getting a haircut that I won't forget. This was when I was still in high school and the story goes like this...

I just got home from school and I told my Mom I wanted to get a haircut so she gives me money. I changed my clothes and went to the barber shop. (Not the same shop) When I got there, there were no vacant barber so I waited for my turn. Fortunately, the TV was on and they were watching an action movie. The thing about Filipino action movies is that there's always a sex scene in the middle of the film. And the lead actress was none other than the very seductive, Joyce Jimenez.

source

So I said to myself, this should be interesting. She was very popular back in the day. She had a really nice body and voluptuous boobs. 😛😛😛

What??...

When you're in high school all you think about are boobies.

Now I was waiting for the sex scene, right? But then a man called me and showed me that his chair is empty. It was my turn.

So I sat there and told him what I wanted. He starts cutting my hair but I wasn't really paying attention to him because I was more interested in the movie.

[Action movie playing in the background.]

And then someone shouted,
(In vernacular)

"Naa na! Nagsugod na!"

Which translates in english to "Here it is! It's started."

He was talking about the sex scene.

So I immediately turned my head towards the TV and I saw that the hero and his leading lady were taking their shirts off but my barber turned my head around just as quickly.

So I was like.. "What the f*ck, man?" and he tells me, "Don't move your head like that again or you might get cut."

So he goes back to cutting my hair smiling.

Now the sex scene only lasts for a minute so I had to act fast or I'm gonna miss out on a really good material for masturbation.

What??!!🤨🤨

We've all been there.

When you're thinking about boobies all the time, then it comes with the territory.

Now back to my story.

So I was facing the mirror but I could see the tv from my peripheral vision. But it wasn't clear so I looked for a way to get a much better angle.

I tried the mirrors but the view was blocked.

So I thought, maybe If I try turning my head slowly then my barber would adjust to my head and I won't get cut. And so I did.

So as I was turning my head slowly, the picture keep getting clearer and clearer but before I could get a really clear view of the movie my barber would turn my head back facing the mirror.

"Damn it!"

And then I went for it again.

"Slowly,... just a little more.. almost there..."

"...and back to the mirror."😩😠

So we did this for like 3 or 4 times more, back and forth, back and forth.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Keep in mind that the sex scene only lasts for a minute so time wasn't on my side.

So was my barber.

Until finally, he goes to his cabinet to get something and I said to myself "This is my chance.".

So I quickly turn my head towards the tv and I saw....

Source: Unsplash

..I saw the sex scene fading to black.

source

"Oh! F*ck Me!!"

Was all I could say. So I looked at my barber(and I was really thinking of punching him in the face) and do you know what he does next? He turns the chair around and now I was facing the TV.

And he says, "You wanna watch the movie? Go watch the movie."

So I was like, "Are you f*cking kidding me right now?!"

"All this time you had me facing the mirror when you could have worked at this angle?"

"Un-freakin'-believable"

And the prick was just smiling there as if he was mocking me.

So when my haircut was done I went to the cashier right away, paid for the haircut and left.

Luckily for me, my father keeps tabloids with dirty pictures in it. And I know where it's stashed. So it's all good.😉😉

And that's the end of the story.

Photo taken from my phone.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this article and if you wanna hear more funny stories on just about anything let me know in the comments section. And if you really like what you see please support me by giving me an upvote, follow me so you'd be notified on my latest post and if you really, really, really like this article don't be selfish and tell your friends about this post by reblogging it.

And my name is @baby.magic & that's it for now. Jah bless!

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Barber Shop Stories - Part 1

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