Heads in hand, I had no other choice than to check my brain every minute to see if it is still there.
You won't have to blame me much, Nigerian Governments are just too good to their citizens and I can't help but be fortunate I was born and bred here. Trust me, there is zero sarcasm here.
Politics is a fair game, I mean, politicians end up shaking themselves and smiling after winning though, unfortunately, the system is beautiful for the citizens.
The smiles of politicians are so real that it will be no mystery if you end up not having wrinkles in your old age. Nigerian politicians make you smile endlessly with their schemes.
Have you ever heard words that always make the citizens happy? Hehe... There are tons of them.
Nigeria is a full-blooded comedy station and according to wise people among us, it is said that even the creator of heaven and earth tunes to our station Nigeria when He is bored of other countries and needs a good laugh. How fortunate we are to be blessed with that opportunity, don't you think?
I mean, it is hard not to laugh especially when the Nigerian Governments are truthful.
"Snake swallowed money; Rat destroyed the documents that are needed to prove that help came in from other countries during COVID-19; Fire blazed off important documents and all others".
Now tell me, aren't those words beautiful? I won't be mad if you end up getting jealous because you aren't a Nigerian reading this. I know you yearn to be here.
Speaking of being a Nigerian, I can't say if I will be a Nigerian for long. It won't be surprising if the Chinese Empire takes over. I heard our loving Governments borrowed some little money from them and mind you, they are still borrowing more. How fortunate of us. All I need now is a Chinese name. How does "Baliwang" sound? Quite a pretty name, don't you agree?
Now, what brought me here, I know you have been dying to know why $700 million is needed to fix the Presidential villa known as Aso Rock.
Screenshot from my phone
You see, a celebrity wants to take over this month and that's why the money is needed. Try understanding.
Finally, the country's President-elect will be sworn in, and the old cargo will be let out. I guess you understand why that little money is needed? You have to.
Aso rock needs to be fixed. I know it may sound ridiculous. But no war happened in the Villa to warrant such an amount to fix it and neither is the old cargo trying to leave the country with more debt. Please, no. Don't get him wrong. Just don't.
The president just wants to make sure that everything is good. Besides, the citizens are swimming in money, and hearing the sound of that little money makes them all happy and prouder to be in the country. But, if you tend to think otherwise, that means you are jealous and I won't have to blame you.
PS: This post was written with the thought of applauding the Nigerian Government. There is absolutely no sarcastic use of words as the post is written with a heart filled with great love and respect for the country.
I think my nose is getting longer, but I am not lying... Am I?
This is my reply to the COMtest contest.
Still yours truly,
Balikis(Baliwang)
Thanks for reading.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.
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Very soon, $900 trillion will be announced to change the cloud of Abuja.
There's nothing we'll not hear in this Nigeria.
Funny enough, even when the news is alarming and disturbing to the ears of citizens, it's never a concern to the government... they'll still carry on😭
I'm still guilding myself not to venture into politics because if I enter eeeh! On God!
Haha, $900 trillion will be too. Better find yourself a Chinese name and get ready to learn the language😂😂.
Chinese language? Lol🤣
To learn a new language, a transplant need to be done on my ear because this one is too hard to filter in new language 😎
Haha... Please do that because you must learn.
🙄🙄🙄. You are on your own.
I admire your love and respect to the politicians of your country. Your attitude is admirable, your commitment to be followed.
Bravo.
@tipu curate
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Haha, I feel so honored by your words it makes me teary.😂😂
Nice entry !lolz
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Hehe, thank ya.
Politiks is this way, people need strong leaders. Thanks for sharing this report from your part of the world.
Peace
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Haha, thanks for reading😁
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Nigeria!!
This country?! LMAO
All I can say is.... Wahala. Wahala. Wahala😂
Wahala no de finish... A home to be🤣🤣🤣
The way this outgoing president keeps spending money you would think we aren't in any sort of debt and to top it all I heard the president is going to receive an hardship allowance 🤦♂️
Hardship allowance? Oh, I am so moved by the county's love for our precious mighty soon to be ex-leader.
The drama in Nigeria never gets old and there is no twist or turn... It's he same old story, every freaking year. Yet, we can't get enough of them. Haha
The winners are always the Politicians while the rest of the citizens just worry themselves to death. Ohhhh... That's exactly why there is no point to be worried. No need to be worried about the downtrend of the country because... This is Nigeria. Anything goes. Haha
Hehe, the stories are always great and fun-filled. We love it and want more and they give it to us.
Politicians are the best, aren't they?😂😂
If you want to leave the country called Nigeria please tag me along. The country where snake will always swallow our money. Your name is okay. Can I use the name Ko min Yang??
Haha... Tortoises should also swallow money now. I will love to hear that.
Thank you.. Hehe, use any you want.
You still haven’t answered me. Are we going together or not?
Together in what? 😂😂. I don't know you please.
When I saw the news, I laughed, hard.
No surprise there.
In this our country, anything can happen😂
Haha... Everything is possible through Nigeria which strengthens us.
Even up till date, Nigeria is still borrowing despite the fact that they are rich and have what they can use to pay off those debt.
Well, we are proud money borrowee. Let's keep up the vibe
The nation is indeed a comedy center and the money involved in the renovation can provide job for thousands of Nigerians.
They are securing the Aso Rock while the country is exposed to different problems, God bless Nigeria.
Why would Nigerians need a job? Do you want Aso Rock to collapse. Please let them renovate it😂😂
If I catch these politicians eh.. how much is cost of living that they would be renovating
Please please, leave my favorable politicians. Abeg😂😂😂. Let them enjoy at our expense.
Baliwang , who sho chong hang?
Now that you are expecting another country to control of out dear country. I hope you have learned how to speak Chinko very well, lol.
This country is full of comedy skit and we laugh out daily. Nice content dear
Shi hong Wu yo...😂😂.
Plenty comedy skits day and night. You can never get wrinkled because you laugh a lot.
Yeah you are right dear
Hehe...
😃
😊😊
You are so right Baliwang, I've never wanted anything more than to be a Nigerian at this moment.
Very nice entry. Good luck!
Wow, I am super proud of you. Welcome to the free-entry country.
Applauding them indeed😂😂
It's the way you switch ironies for me sha
Hehe... Irony? Where? My words are true😜😜. How are you, Oppa?
Truer words have never been spoken 😂
I'm better now, thanks 😅
They haven't, wow, I am surprised😂😂.
Thank goodness. You sounded like a pregnant lady who wanted her husband to get her Shawarma and yogurt in a country like Nigeria at 2:00 am😂😂.
Hew😂😂😂😂
You've killed me... I for just pretend that time
Now, I have a lot of sentences to deal with because of the way I responded to😂
Hehe, yes you do😁😁.
IDAN NO DEY FEAR LIE, NA LIE DEY FEAR IDAN
😂😂😂... Very good for Idan then.