The comedy rumble (2-1 on aggregate)

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago (edited)


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She slapped me when I asked her out. I wondered if she was involved in a slapping competition or she has an iron hand. My ears rang bells and my eyes saw kissing stars (not far away in the sky), I saw them inside my eyeballs. I staggered before I balanced. She's damn pretty. Her swags were more than that of a princess. A poor guy like me has nothing to offer so who the hell am I

Sasha love showing her body and as the naughty guy that I am, I must look. She would put on clothes showing her cleavages


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Wait. Cleavages is an understatement. Almost all her boobs are revealed. When she walks, the two oranges bounce as if they want to fly out and wave to anyone looking

I said to myself "if those two balls fly out, I will be their focus because my focus is always too stupid that she would notice me sometimes and say "kill yourself "

I don't give a damn. I can't receive a slap for nothing. Mouth to eat. Nose to breath and smell. Eyes to look and see. I must look. But if we want to count scores, it's 1-0. She's leading me

Sasha will never say I'm sorry even if she's wrong. No one in the class dared find her trouble because apart from the fact that she's pretty, she has a black belt in karate. I think you see why I walked away respectfully after the slap before I will show on the front page of the school newspaper as the headline the second day

It was our year one. Sasha was a very punctual student. She never misses a class and her note is always intact

Sometimes, fate has a way of making worst enemies best friends. I never knew me and Sasha could stand let alone talk and laugh together


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Exam came and my exam number followed hers. Now Sasha and ckole on one seat (Just the two of us). Naughty me, I never stopped looking as usual especially now that she's close to me. And one thing I do is that I smile each time I wave the oranges with my mind and I hear them saying we can wait to have you

I'm sure if she could eavesdrop our conversation, she would put them in cloth arrest for days as a punishment for chatting with me without confiding in her

The first paper was a unit course. We didn't utter a word to each other throughout the exam. The second day, it was mathematics. I finished up easily and was waiting for some people to submit before I stand up because I don't like going out when none has finished. I was using one eye to look at Sasha

Empty paper! Sasha could not attempt a question. Her ego was keeping her from approaching me. This is my turn I said. I called her name and she answered

So with all this your beauty and up-to-date note with 100% attendance, you have a blockhead. Chai!

She looked at me as if she should strangle me to death😂. As a smart guy, I knew what to do. Hey, you! Let me show you, love, by helping you out. She was happy. I've never seen Sasha like that. I helped her to my detriment and after the paper, she walked up to me and say thank you

During the third paper, I covered my book to make it difficult for her from copying me. Sasha touched me stylishly. Hehn! Me of all people I imagined. I understood her but I refused to consent. When I finished, I turned to her saying

"We are all important in different ways. Now you see why we ought to be friends before now".

She was looking at me speechless like dull baby, and again, I helped her. Eventually, we became friends. Our classmates began to wonder what was happening. She invited me to her house. I ate free breakfast, lunch, and dinner for days

I became a good friend with the two oranges and they were happy to have me

Oh! It's 1-1 now. We are even. We finished the exam and we remained best of friends. When the result was out, out of 13 courses, I had 12 carryovers and she had 11. We both failed woefully. She never knew my head was dumber than her own until the result was out. I was only smart the wrong way


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Instead of confronting or waiting for her to get hold of me, I rusticated myself asap before the school press would carry the news of my obituary. I won 2-1 on aggregate

Guess what happened when we met after 9 years. You won't hear it from me. Just think of what you would do if you are in her shoes 😂

Can you crack ribs? If yes, check out this post and make us laugh out loud. Inviting @nkechi and @rosecane to join the challenge by checking the post link above.

Thanks for reading

This is ckole the laughing gas
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Hey @ckole Thanks so much for tagging me. A post just came to mind🤩

You are welcome. Will be expecting your entry.