Hey @easybliss thanks for a highly entertaining post. I'm actually an EFL teacher in Japan, so the problems you describe are familiar to me. This one made me laugh, though, for a very specific reason - not sure if you are aware of it already...
I once wrote, "I have been knowing her for five years," and my English teacher looked at me like I had just discovered a new species of unicorn.
The first thing I thought of when I read this is that your teacher's reaction might have been because "I've been knowing her for five years" could be interpreted as "I've been sleeping with her for five years..." It comes from the use of "know" in the King James Bible to mean "slept with" and is often used humourously as in, "I've known her for a while, but not in the Biblical sense." See https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/know_someone_in_the_biblical_sense
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