What we call Kayamata

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago

Greetings People!🙌


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For those that know and believe in the realness of voodoo potions just like love potion which is popularly known as "kayamata" in Nigeria, you'll agree with me that before now, things like that are hidden, if you're going to get it, you must secretly go to the spiritual house by yourself, collect and pay with your own money for it to work. But now, these things are done in the opposite.

Before I continue...
Incase you're doubting the existence of these fetish substances, it's very real and I had a recent experience... not on me please.
I had a neighbor (husband & wife) and the wife controls the husband like the way we change DStv channel with a remote. You need to see how this young girl shouts at her husband publicly and the husband would be acting as the woman says. It was obvious that the guy was under the influence of the woman's "sweet food" but he couldn't do anything because his real sense has left him to dwell in another world. But guess what? The man's eyes got cleared and he pursued the wife away.



These days, we see the usage of "kayamata" publicly and these people involved are not shy or ashame to display the effect of the festish products. These spiritual products are now sold publicly with NAFDAC Number (registeration number)...I wonder what we've turned to.

Today, I stumbled on an advert while viewing whatsapp status and I had to pause to read thoroughly on what I just saw. I saw an advert containing list of these fetish products with high price tags, that they considered as "discounted price".

Let's take a look some of them because I found them hilarious.

Richman's attraction soap: once you uses this soap, you'll be attracted to rich people. Elon Musk will come looking for you

Fuck & stay soap: Used especially when he or she is playing hard to get. Shoot once and pin him/her down. Guys, incase you're seeing yourself magnetized to a lady you don't want, maybe she has used this on you

No more promise & fail soap: All your uncles and aunties will bow to your request, no more "I'll see what I can do"

Money caller oil: After applying this ,you'll stay in your room and invoke money to fly inside your room, you'll pick them and deposit in banks.

Spend on me soap: I think this is majorly for women, especially the ones that likes to bill. Guys will be foolishly spending on them. I'm very sure this won't work on me if a lady uses it

And so many other products


After imagining a lot of things on the products, I checked the owner of the whatsapp account to find out that it was a friend I got via WhatsApp Contact Gain (very long time ago).

I messaged her to find out if what she posted was real and she confirmed that they're real and if I want, she could give me on a discounted price based on long time friend.

I didn't stopped there, I asked her if those products were her handiwork and she said yes, that mean she's a spiritual person. Omo!
Immediately she confirmed that she produced all those fetish products, I automatically began to see her as a goddess... goddess of the river, and to crown it all, she is very fair in complexion with a goddess look, exactly the ones we see in Nollywood movies.


Before I drop my keyboard,
I Know you're contemplating already on the realness of such fetish stuffs.
They are real and alot of people around you are using them.
98% of ladies using waistebeads have some spiritual attachments to those beads. It's something I confirmed from females colleagues I worked with in a firm.

There was one of them that has a sugar daddy and the waistebead on her was what she uses to press the man's "mumu button" (man's weak point).... story for another day.

Thanks for reading.

Sort:  

Elon Musk will come looking for you

What is this 😂😂😂😂😂 the strategies people use to market their products is just something else because why😂 why would Elon musk leave his country to look for you.

It's true sha, I've not come into any contact with it but information from reliable sources say that kayamata is a big brand and it's genuine.

Sometimes I doubt these products but people are testifying of the realness..
Also, I senses that there are repercussions. "Satan gives you something with one hand...." Sermon

It's true sha, I've not come into any contact with it but information from reliable sources say that kayamata is a big brand and it's genuine.

Reginald Daniels... that's what she's using 🥱

Reginald Daniels... that's what she's using 🥱

The list goes on😂

And I know people that are using it. Like, People around.

If it'll work on you, e be like say I'll go and patronize her. I can't let you slide🥳

If it'll work on you, e be like say I'll go and patronize her. I can't let you slide🥳

So men use it too, I thought it was only the ladies 🌝😂

Both gender use it. It's just like what we see in movies, whereby a man goes to a native doctor's house for charms.

Kayamata is a modern way of native doctoring

That's just sad sha

The issue of kayamata is becoming to rampant, before you go through 10 contacts on Whatsapp you will surely see someone advertising it

Omo!
No be small thing.
And people are patronizing them heavily

Why does this story sound like it's about you? It's a harmless question o. Don't shout at me🤧

goddess of the river, and to crown it all, she is very fair in complexion with a goddess look, exactly the ones we see in

Ah! So goddess don de get look? Wawu! Thanks for the update dears.

Before I conclude, you patronize eze-nwanyi daughter abi you no patronize am????? 😑

Why does this story sound like it's about you? It's a harmless question o. Don't shout at me🤧

Weeeetin you drink?🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me that's an usher in my church, a clean gatekeeper. Habaaa! Cheeamaka!

Before I conclude, you patronize eze-nwanyi daughter abi you no patronize am????? 😑

You got me thinking...🤔
I think I should use because of you to meet her. Let's experiment "talk and follow cream"

Weeeetin you drink?🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me that's an usher in my church, a clean gatekeeper. Habaaa! Cheeamaka!

Water, sir. Hottt water.
Usher no de find kwik money? 😣

Let's experiment "talk and follow cream"

Try de ask questions. You no whether na me be grand-goddess???🤧

Usher no de find kwik money? 😣

In a clean way, no wuru-wuru🤧

Try de ask questions. You no whether na me be grand-goddess???🤧

Lol🤣.
Haven't you seen where a police was used to arrest a police?🤣.

No be only.
There are levels to this thing.
No try ooo😣

Lol.
Now, you're making me to go and search for how you look.
Let me see if you're looking like a Mami water, before I know what to say 🥱

It seem to be that this market favours the women only or you're saying men get kayamata for their uncles and aunts not to fail promises too?

Lol🤣
This is from another angle.

The 'not to fail promise' product, looks interesting and I feeling going for it already.
I'd give you feedback once I tests🤧

I really don't know why this is so funny and scary at the same time...

Probably because of the names given to theses soaps and the fact that I have so many friends who use the waistebeads with mindset of it's just fun and nothing more.....but the fact that a female actually told you this is making me think so much right now😹

Probably because of the names given to theses soaps and the fact that I have so many friends who use the waistebeads with mindset of it's just fun and nothing more.....but the fact that a female actually told you this is making me think so much right now😹

First of all, let me not assume that you're using waistebeads...don't come and enchant me🤣

As for your friends, just use style ask them small to know what's up... especially where they bought them.
Pls give me feedback when you do 🤸

😂😂
Kayamata wahala.
I stumble on one or two of these their posts and just sigh and quickly move past.
Talkabout "ask and get oil"
Lol.

Lol🤣.
The thing that's shocking me is how this juju stuff is now publicly used.

As it is now, you won't know when a girl in the corner is using this on you.
You'll be on your own and one small girl will be pressing your life like a remote. Maddd!. God abeg 🤲

Guy!!
All man should stay careful 😂

Lol I travelled to Kano in 2021 and was surprised by how popular these things are over there in the north.

I need one for my crush Bad girl Riri😂😂

It's very rampant in North. I'm very sure that all those men there are under the control of these things unknowingly. God abeg ooo🤲

I need one for my crush Bad girl Riri😂😂

Be fast oo before she'll use you🤣

Great post I for start dey fear Nigerians more oo. I always respected you guys but baba this is a different level oo.

Hahahah🤣.
So this kayamata doesn't exist in your side?
It's very common here

Not yet. At least not in forms of soups and the rest it may have different names am not aware of .

That's good.
You guys are safe

Haha We are not oo. Ghana and Nigeria are very similar. It just have different names for things. Am sure if I look hard enough I will find our own hiding somewhere.

Money caller oil

Na this one I want.. how we go take do am now
Where this your dealer dy😂

Hahahah🤣.
If money starts flying inside your room from be window at night, fear no go catch you?🤣

😅😅😅
For this hardship?
Fear no go catch me oh, I'll rather open POS abi u no dy stay for Nigeria ni😅

Hahahah🤣🤣🤣
This guy!😎😎

Seriously, if you asked me, I'd just tell you that the fear of men have made women sort other measures to put them under their armpit.

As funny as this could be, it is a real life experience in our part of the world.

One thing I would like to see is that Kayamata gets to Europe and America too.

One thing I would like to see is that Kayamata gets to Europe and America too.

We've talked about this thing and a lot of people said that kayamata is already there but not on this innovative level 🤣

They're more than real ooo. Presently, one of my good neighbour's is suffering from it. It have even caused him lots of sicknesses because, his late wife was using it on him. I pity such minds

I pity that man Sha.

And he was on his own when the woman decided to use it on him. may God deliver us. Amen

On his own ke? He didn't allow his center parting to rest solely on his wife. That's why the wife decided to cage it 🤣

This lady!🤣🤣🤣