I know that especially in eastern cultures there is a lot of pressure on the kids to learn and master subjects in school as though they were adults. If I understand it correctly, it's about making the child make the parents look good. That happens here, too, but I think not as extreme. We have different ways of fucking our kids up. My mom would put a lot of pressure on me, but she would help me learn, which I appreciated. Until she got bored, and then was disappointed with me when I tried to teach myself, which happened when I was in home school. I blamed myself for being dumb and lazy for that, when really it was like going to a class with no teacher.
I saw in your reply to ellenripley that you did more emdr and it's really draining. That makes sense going by what you told me before about not feeling anything. The eye movement therapies force you to feel in order to process the trauma and rewrite it. It's a lot, especially if you've been numb for a long time. But in my experience it does get easier. And better. Now whenever I do the ART sessions with my therapist my brain starts jumping ahead to the next steps even before she prompts me because it's been rewired to find a way to heal rather than simply cope and survive. I hope you start seeing those changes soon. I think you will. You're working so hard!! Even if you can't see it. Going to therapy is work.
Thank you so much for always being with me during this hard time.
I love being your cheerleader!!
Yes, that's the point I dislike most. Eastern culture is all about social image and being proud in family gatherings. I personally believe parenting is really hard and every kid is unique and has to be raised that way. Too much pressure is sometimes not good and the most important fact that kills me is when parents are abusive. They put their frustration on kids in an abusive way, I witnessed that, unfortunately.
Yes, and I don't even find any energy to talk. Yesterday I came back home and lay on the bed for the entire time, I couldn't move, I couldn't even feel to talk to anyone and my therapist told me it was normal. It happens. I am still in pain and full of sadness. I don't scream and realize my pain. Instead, I am consuming which is suffocating. Like you said, I hope I will see the results and will feel good and process...
Have a good weekend dear...
💕