It sounds like your doctor gets it. It's very sad and upsetting that you've had to wait such a long time. Like you said, it sounds intense but lets hope your doctor and therapy can help you this time. Please don't think you are nothing. You are so much more than that! ❤️
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I am trying my best to stay positive and learn and educate myself. I travel and see different places but in the end, I find myself alone at nowhere. It's like you have everything but you are not happy because you find everything useless and nothing inspires you...
I think the fact you are going out and exploring is a step forward to where you were. It's very early days with the new treatment. This might be the key you are looking for.
Might be, let's see how everything goes. Time will say...